1. Bush is done to death, let him go. If you REALLY wanna write Bush, it better be a twist no one has seen because we're all pretty sick of him. He's too easy of a target. Even Drunk monkeys can satirize him.
   
2. "Area Man" stories. The phrase was coined by The Onion and it stinks of Onion a mile away. It's off limits. Try "Local Man", "Neighborhood Resident" or anything else.
   
3. Something you just saw on another satire site... spoof the news not our friends and allies. I've done it a time or two, but it was writers I know personally and I paid homeage at the same time. If everyone else is writing it, you'd better have an angle they don't or you need to get back to writing about Monkey Porn, because that stuff sells like crazy in any market.

What TO write, since you shouldn't write that other stuff.

1. Timeless is golden. Warren Leming wrote a piece about Britney Spears, it's been our #1 and #2 search string for three months running. Over a year after it first ran it made it back to our top ranked article for the month... why? Because that is one timeless piece of ass everyone likes, most even admit it.
   
2. Something clever.
   
3. Anything with keywords involving those found on the Google ZeitGeist. That's the best stuff there is, people really want that.
   
4. Stuff about every man, stuff about you and me. Stuff that we can all relate to.