Retractions
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Glossy News is dedicated to bringing you news hot off the griddle. Some feel it's important that it's cooked all the way through, we just serve it up hot. As such we never, ever verify the truth or validity of even the most outrageous of our articles. Have faith, dear friend, it's for the best. Further, many of our retractions are wildly incorrect. We apologize, but do not retract our retractions. Overkill at that point, don't you think? It seems there was one or more small clerical error(s) in our last edition. Please note the following corrections: |
It was reported in our menopause village meeting article that many issues were going to be discussed. As a follow up it's important to mention that the evening went smoothly until a local businessman suggested a user tax be imposed on tampons, with the proceeds going to "husband counselling and recovery services". Fortunately, estimates are as low as six dead, eleven wounded. Last week we reported that Jerry Fallwell "hates detailed dating questionaires". We deeply, sincerely apologize for this gross oversite. Yes, it's true, we spelled questionaire wrong. I'm not using spellchecker so I am not sure if it's questionnaire or questionairre, and hey man, who'm I kidding, I could not care less. Last we highlighted the Ultra-Efficient Car that Ford Motor Company will never produce. We accidentally used a photo of an unsafe, unfriendly, inefficient new Ford Escort that actually doesn't look like metallic trash. This, however, will also never be produced. You've seen this line before, but it's still true. I'm tired man, papers got to go out. The rest of it looks true from my house. Best we can tell everything else is true, accurate and chock full of wisdom and/or nuts. |
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