It seems there was one or more small clerical error(s) in our last edition. Please note the following corrections:

Last week we reported that Anna Kournikova almost beat some chick. Um, well, I guess that's technically true but the article was quite old. She hasn't played in Shanghai for some time. I went to look it up, but got distracted by all the bomb ass pictures. It was a sweet picture though, right? I mean, who's with me?

It was reported that Saddam Hussein won by a landslide 100% victory. It turns out one of his staunchest supporters, Habim Mohib, was actually sick, had to work an extra hour and then overslept the polling. Though Mr. Hussein assures us, his vote, too, would have been for the dictatorial plotocracy that is incumbent.

Also, there was a rather lengthy article about Benny Hill's porn stash. It has come to our attention that something was wildly inaccurate therein, but who knows what. Seriously, that thing was funny as hell, but looooong man. Did YOU read it?

Last week we reported that Dresden, Ohio is both the Basket & Male Suicide capital's of the world. In all fairness, we should mention that the city officials hope this will boost tourism even more. Their new slogans "Kevorkian's in jail, come to Dresden!" and "Can't wait for the Hail Bopp Comet? Come to Dresden! " will be launched next month in time for Christmas. Dresden has a quaint population of 12,346 and falling.

Best we can tell everything else is true, accurate and chock full of wisdom, nuts, and/or wholesome goodness. Who's ya daddy?