Tag Archive | "scandal"

Tom Tancredo’s Teen Traveling Companion Shot Dead in Georgia Convenience Store


DENVER, Colorado — As an advocate for eugenics, former Colorado congressman Tom Tancredo is hardly a trailblazer. He follows in the footsteps of pioneers such as Strom Thurmond, George Wallace and David Duke. But what Tancredo lacks in originality, he makes up for in spirit. Read the full story

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Rising Porn Star Admits to Using Performance-Enhancing Altoids


SAN FERNANDO, CA — Up-and-coming porn starlet Corrine Hard was rapidly becoming a household name until she received a summons to appear before a Congressional Grand Jury to testify about her alleged use of performance enhancing drugs. Read the full story

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David Lynch Confirmed to Direct John Edwards Biopic


More trouble for John Edwards surfaced this week when a close family friend told various gossip publications that the disgraced former Democratic presidential candidate struck his cancer-stricken wife during a shocking marriage-ending brawl. Read the full story

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Tiger Woods Converts to Mormonism, Declares 2nd Wife – Seeking More?


Salt Lake City, UT – Thurl Bailey step aside, the LDS Church will soon have a new spokesmodel. In a bizarre turn of events yesterday morning, LDS Church elders in Salt Lake City announced that Tiger Woods has decided to join the Mormon Church.

Woods, who has been searching for meaning to his life like a bum searching for change, stumbled upon two Mormon missionaries over the Christmas holidays and has embraced the faith. Read the full story

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Posted in Sports Scandals, SportsfolkComments (24)

Miley Cyrus Racing to Ditch Hannah Montana Franchise Pre-Scandal


All over the world, teens and tweens alike are clutching their Hannah Montana throw pillows and sobbing uncontrollably that their favorite television personality, Hannah Montana, is gearing up to shoot the last season of the Hannah Montana show.

According to a spokesperson for Disney Channel Worldwide, “The last episode will be bittersweet as we say good-bye to our little Miss Montana.” Read the full story

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Posted in TelevisionComments (5)

Gov Sanford Takes Leave After SC House Censure


Columbia, SC (GlossyNews) — Governor Mark Sanford was censured Wednesday for his inappropriate behavior and th disgrace, shame and dishonor he has brought to the Office of Governor of South Carolina during his sordid affair with an Argentine woman. Sanford lied to his staff and the public as to his whereabouts, left the state and the country without notifying his staff, and possibly compromised US security with liaisons with a foreign person — an action that has led to the loss of security clearances and jobs to regular workers and military personnel. The house censure said Sanford should “hang his head in shame and disgrace and be thankful that we didn’t live in a time when men could have their johnsons amputated for such actions.” Read the full story

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2009 Glossy News Erratta … err Errata & Errors a Plenty


The Glossy News, in an effort to bring you the finest, most accurate and comprehensive news available, has compiled this errata information after a review of articles published in 2009. Although we do technically wish to apologize for any errors that may have crept into our news stories from time to time throughout the year, we do so with an air of lackadaisical indifference. Read the full story

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Posted in World NewsComments (3)

Once You’ve Had Tiger, You Can’t Go Back


I rushed into the conference room where my colleagues had gathered to discuss potential stories to publish in the next day’s newspaper. As the editor, Oscar sat at the head of the table, gulping down a cup of foul-smelling coffee, he leaned towards Mel, a senior reporter, flipping through a color-tabbed notebook. “What have you got?”

“Fire at the civic building downtown. Fifteen confirmed dead. Cause of fire unknown, but arson is suspected.”
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Posted in Celebrity GossipComments (1)

Halliburton And The Carrots, Holds the Sticks


Bogota, Columbia – In an unusual development in the strife-torn South American country of Columbia, the giant war machine known as Halliburton seems to be growing food. Over the past 6 months, on advice from a high-level undisclosed source, the company has planted the equivalent of 2500 square miles of garden carrots to replace the growing of cocoa plants in conjunction with the US and Columbian governments’ drug replacement policies. Read the full story

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Posted in Biz News, War ZoneComments (0)

Dodgy Deviant Gets Ceo Position, As Expected


The New Labour government’s childcare watchdog Ofsted has been heavily criticised by every bugger and their dog after appointing a dodgy deviant official – once embroiled in a notorious paedophile scandal – to a senior post in the organisation.

The Office for Standards in Education, Children’s Services and Skills has named Willie McScum as its Social Care chief – a job which gives him effective control of the protection of male and female minors in care homes and nurseries across the length and breadth of the entire UK. Read the full story

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David Letterman Accepts Sex Revelations Humility, Ratings Boon


David Letterman has been preaching a daily tell-all on his nightly TV shows, almost boasting about his sexual exploits with his staff. His ratings have gone through the roof and other late night TV hosts are now paying attention to this gimmick, which has leapt him ahead in the cut-throat TV ratings game. Read the full story

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Anti-Graft Boss Caught Elbow-Deep in Graft


Campaigners have condemned the reappointment of the head of Kenya’s anti-corruption agency – the KACC (pronounced ‘cack’) – by the 105-year old President Dogbone Meow Kitkatbar. Read the full story

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Posted in Crooked Cops, World NewsComments (0)

War Criminals Pack Wimbledon Stands


The Centre Court at Wimbledon last Sunday saw a plethora of famous faces and porcine celebrity past-its packed into the stands to watch the men’s singles final between Roger Federer of Cuckoo Clock Land and Andy Roddick of the good ole’ US of A. Read the full story

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