Tag Archive | "republican"

Real Republicans Angry Over Obama’s Gay Rights Initiative


Boston, Mass (GlossyNews) — “Beautiful on the Outside Couple,” Kaitlin Greely and Jonas Applebee, are all over Facebook, Twitter and cell phone networks these days. They are trying to let as many people as possible know they are furious over Obama’s latest move toward gay rights in the US that grants hospital visitation rights to gay couples.

In a recent interview with the couple, Applebee, who looks like he stepped off an Abercrombie and Fitch magazine cover, Read the full story

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Second Dumbest Man on Earth Ghost Writes Bush Memoir


Odessa, TX (GlossyNews) — Larry Kones, known as the Second Dumbest Man on Earth, has completed the memoir of the presidency of George W. Bush hitting the discount bins at bookstores nationwide on November 9. Ghost writer Kones was chosen from a pool of candidates known for their breathtaking lack of intelligence. A few of the runners-up were a worm, a piece of corn, a glass of water and a pickle. But Kones won out because of his impressive resume that includes lengthy stints as a hanger untangler for Goodwill, skyhook operator, professional snipe wrangler and his efficient “hunt and peck” typing style. Read the full story

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Obama Sends Sarah Palin on Secret Mission


Camp David (GlossyNews) — President Obama has promised to grant Sarah Palin her biggest wish ever -an inkling of credibility- if she can locate the most wanted man in the world, Osama bin Laden, and bring back his walking cane.

The ‘secret’ mission dubbed by Democrats as the ‘Bimbo in Limbo’ is a way to show that President Obama is willing to work with Palin, while allowing her to do something productive besides running her mouth. Palin, however, still plans to feed her fans inflammatory statements via Twitter during the entire process. Read the full story

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Tom Tancredo’s Teen Traveling Companion Shot Dead in Georgia Convenience Store


DENVER, Colorado — As an advocate for eugenics, former Colorado congressman Tom Tancredo is hardly a trailblazer. He follows in the footsteps of pioneers such as Strom Thurmond, George Wallace and David Duke. But what Tancredo lacks in originality, he makes up for in spirit. Read the full story

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Gov Sanford Takes Leave After SC House Censure


Columbia, SC (GlossyNews) — Governor Mark Sanford was censured Wednesday for his inappropriate behavior and th disgrace, shame and dishonor he has brought to the Office of Governor of South Carolina during his sordid affair with an Argentine woman. Sanford lied to his staff and the public as to his whereabouts, left the state and the country without notifying his staff, and possibly compromised US security with liaisons with a foreign person — an action that has led to the loss of security clearances and jobs to regular workers and military personnel. The house censure said Sanford should “hang his head in shame and disgrace and be thankful that we didn’t live in a time when men could have their johnsons amputated for such actions.” Read the full story

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GOP Officially Declares Moral Bankruptcy


Washington DC – Long accused of being morally corrupt by most of their critics, the GOP today filed papers in Federal court declaring moral bankruptcy to the nth degree.

Wiping back what looked to be actual tears, Senator Lindsey Graham presented judges with the legal papers to be filed. Supporting him were The Arnold, governator from CA, and Senators Arlen Specter, PA and John McCain, AZ, bringing up the rear. Read the full story

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