Tag Archive | "horses"

Kentucky Derby Horse ‘Uncle Sigh’ Doesn’t Really Give a Damn About Race


Churchill Downs – As the 140th running of the Kentucky Derby nears, one fact about one of the horses in the running this year is clear: ‘Uncle Sigh’ just doesn’t give a damn.

The horse is already pissed about having to shave his beard for the race but insisted on his jockey being allowed to carry his signature green cup of special tea during the race.

“I mean, I’ll race. I got no problem with that, Jack. But I’ll be damned if they’re gonna make me leave my tea cup somewhere during the race just so someone can steal it. No way, man.” Uncle Sigh remarked. Read the full story

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Nation’s Horses Demand Right to Marry Owners


LEXINGTON, KY – Following yesterday’s landmark Supreme Court decision to overturn the Defense of Marriage Act, the nation’s horses demanded Thursday the right to marry their owners.

Marriage between members of the Equidae family and homosapiens is not currently recognized by any of the 50 states, though state senators in Alabama are thought to be moving forward with a proposal. Read the full story

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UK Taco Bell found to contain horse meat; Customers call it “vast improvement”


Following the release of information claiming several UK Taco Bell locations have been serving unregulated horse meat, customers are rejoicing in the scandal.

Calling the new burrito filler a “vast improvement” over the previous sawdust laden beef concoction, which in early 2011 led to a lawsuit attempting to ban the fast food chain from labeling their beef blend (containing only 36% actual beef) as meat. Read the full story

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Hay is For Horses, But Some More than Others (comic)


What happens between horses when no one is looking. No, not that. They do that in plain sight. They’re unabashed, and well they should be, they’re hung like horses.

Click on the Comic to see it in full-size.

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“My Little Pony” Chewy Fruit Snacks Found to Contain Horse Meat


MINNEAPOLIS, MN (GlossyNews) – Shock and horror were rampant in the children’s snack market this morning as the word spread that the popular “My Little Pony” fruit snacks contained elements of actual pony. The discovery was apparently made during an unannounced inspection at L&M Novelty Foods.

“Today is a sad day for both the children’s snack market and the equestrian community,” said lead USDA inspector Arnold Roberts. “We had suspicion for quite some time that elements of the product contained horse meat, and this was unfortunately confirmed by today’s test results.” Read the full story

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