Tag Archive | "celebrities"

World’s Most Beloved Dead Body Dies


Bobby “Stock Still” Jenkins, arguably the world’s most well-known dead body, has died at the age of 62. “When I found him lying face down in his breakfast, I just thought he was doing it again. Pretending to be dead when he really wasn’t,” Mrs. Grace Jenkins, Bobby’s wife of 35 years said. “I’m still not absolutely sure, but he’s been in the ground three days now and nothing yet.” Read the full story

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip, Talky Pictures, Top StoriesComments (5)

Taylor Swift’s “Sh*t List” Keeps Growing


The ongoing feud between Taylor Swift and Katy Perry has reached a boiling point that even puts recent ISIS headlines to shame.

This bloody battle, comparable to the likes of Gettysburg, allegedly began over self-proclaimed asshole, John Mayor.

The most recent blow was struck by Swift. Known as America’s sweet tart, she recently accused “someone” of trying to steal several of her back up dancers mid-tour. Read the full story

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip, MusicComments (2)

Fashion Industry schemes to Punish Men by turning Women into Freaks


Dateline: LOS ANGELES — More and more consumers are aware that magazines hire Photoshop artists to doctor pictures of celebrities, as part of an elaborate ritual designed to appease the celebrities’ agents and to flatter the egocentric actresses so they’ll agree to pose for more photos for those publications. Wrinkles or other skin blemishes are airbrushed out, tummies are flattened, legs lengthened. Read the full story

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, HealthComments (0)

Top Celebrities Pledge to Create Thousands of Entourage Jobs


Sid Weinstock, a savvy businessman from Los Angeles, has a list of some of the biggest names in the country who are each pledging to hire several new entourage members in an effort to create upwards of 100,000 new jobs in America in 2014. Justin Bieber has promised to add at least 20 new members to his entourage in the coming months. Auditions for the jobs will be taking place in Atlanta in January. Read the full story

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Adele Wins Lawsuit Over “Fat Joke” on Internet


In what is no doubt the weirdest court case since John Goodman sued the makers of the film The Blob for title copyright infringement, music star Adele has won a dramatic and painstaking lawsuit against an America teenager.

Her case was won on the grounds of a joke at her expense on the internet.

The drama all started back in late February when, upon seeing Adele perform for the first time on the Academy Awards, Joey Trolman, 19, of New Jersey wrote this as a Facebook status: “Gee, no wonder Adele is ‘rolling in the deep’: her mattress imprint is big enough for a kiddie pool!” Read the full story

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Posted in Celebrity GossipComments (7)

Famous Americans Share Thanksgiving Messages of Gratitude


Glossy News interviewed famous Americans this past week, asking them “What are you thankful for this Thanksgiving season?” Here is a holiday gift basket of inspirational messages from some of our nation’s most illustrious, America-loving Americans.

Ann Romney, wife of presidential hopeful, Mitt Romney: “I was very disappointed that Mitt lost the election, due to that fluke late October hurricane and the minor fact that Mitt’s not very good at relating to people with net worths under $25 million. But we still have so much to be grateful for. Read the full story

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Posted in EntertainmentComments (3)

Bono Undergoes Emergency Back Surgery for ‘Atlas Syndrome’


MUNICH, Germany (GlossyNews) — U2 front man Bono underwent emergency back surgery on May 21, 2010, while preparing for the American leg of the band’s “360 Degree” international tour. U2, having sold an estimated 150 million records, is arguably the world’s most successful band. Any significant disruption to the concert series would deal a heavy blow to both fans and Live Nation, the promotions company responsible for handling U2’s merchandising, touring and branding rights. Read the full story

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‘Survivor’ Producer’s Wife Voted Off Planet


MEXICO CITY, Mexico (GlossyNews) — Emmy nominated reality television producer Bruce Beresford-Redman has been detained as a suspect in the killing of Monica Beresford-Redman, his wife. According to officials in Cancun, the body of Monica Beresford-Redman was found in a sewer at the Moon Palace resort where the family was on vacation.

Beresford-Redman was nominated for three Emmys for his work on “Survivor,” in which groups of strangers are sent to exotic wilderness locales around the world to compete for prizes. His other production credits include “Pimp My Ride” and “Crash Course.” Read the full story

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Posted in TelevisionComments (0)

Michael Jackson’s Remains to Appear on “Dancing with the Stars”


HOLLYWOOD, CA (GlossyNews) — During a midday press conference, ABC announced a late addition to this season’s “Dancing with the Stars” celebrity lineup.

“It’s a fine day for American Broadcasting,” Media Director Phil Lehman announced. “I’m pleased to tell you that The King of Pop will grace our ballroom floor this season!” Read the full story

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Famed Aviator Capt. Clarence Oveur Dead at 83


POMONA, CA (GlossyNews) — Captain Clarence Oveur, an aviation legend, has died of a heart attack. He was 83.

Oveur was one of the heroes responsible for the successful landing of distressed Trans American flight 209 to Chicago in 1980. Read the full story

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Elton John Calls Jesus Gay, Muslims Enraged


LONDON, U.K. (GlossyNews) — Elton John, no stranger to controversy, made news again this week when he called Jesus of Nazareth gay in an interview with Parade Magazine.

The statement angered many practicing Christians around the world. Catholic League President Bill Donohue said John’s claim implies that “the Messiah was a person who preached water and drank wine.” But Donohue also commented that it would be pointless to ask for an apology. Read the full story

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Posted in Music, SocietyComments (2)

Berkeley Sociologists Urge Americans to Stay the Hell Away from Alaska


Since learning of Phil Harris’ death a few weeks ago, sociologists from U.C. Berkeley have been working feverishly to complete a lengthy report on life — and more importantly, death — in the 49th state. Today, they published their preliminary findings. Read the full story

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Posted in Religionism, ScienceComments (0)

Tiger Woods Still Wants Sex


After spending six weeks in the Gentle Path rehabilitation center near Hattiesburg, Mississippi, where he was treated for chronic sexual addiction, Tiger Woods apparently still craves sex, according to sources.

“Tiger’s wife, Elin Nordegren, came to pick him up from the clinic,” an unnamed clinician told Glossy News. “She was looking pretty hot and it appeared to me that he had a boner! Either that or he was trying to smuggle a huge banana out in his pocket!”

Woods was not allowed to have sex of any sort at the clinic. Even masturbation was forbidden. Read the full story

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