Tag Archive | "cartoons"

Artist Refuses to Admit Art is Terrible (comic)


Okay, you guys have given me enough grief. No, these creatures don’t look like cats, but come on, I have no background in art. I’m the humor guy… oh, I’m not funny either? Well bummer for me.

Even the cats themselves can admit when they’re not as pretty as they should be. Take some comfort in that, because it’s a tacit de-facto admission of my lack of skillz. You win, interwebz. You win. Read the full story

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SpongeBob Confirms Gay Rumors


HOLLYWOOD, CA. SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS COMES OUT OF THE CLOSET. Under pressure from media and various Christian organizations, SpongeBob Squarepants, in a rare public appearance yesterday from his home in Bikini Bottom, confirmed the many rumors circulating about his sexual orientation.

SpongeBob for the first time admitted he is gay and involved in a long-time relationship with his life partner, Patrick the Starfish. Our Derisive Duck cartoon correspondent telephoned the Nickelodeon Channel, SpongeBob’s employer, who did not return our calls.

The effect this revelation will have on SpongeBob’s television career and his employment as a fry cook at the Krusty Krab restaurant is unclear.

Some Christian groups, especially James Dobson’s Focus on the Family, have called SpongeBob part of a pro-homosexual media conspiracy designed to expose the nation’s children to the Hollywood homosexual agenda. Derisive Duck attempted to contact the Pro-Homosexual Media Conspiracy, but could not find a listing.

According to Dobson, “these seemingly innocent cartoons contain subtile enticements to lure our children into the gay lifestyle.” SpongeBob Squarepants was created in 1996 by cartoonist Stephen Hillenburg. “I created SpongeBob to be a kind of goofy, kind-hearted, innocent sponge who lives in a pineapple in Bikini Bottom and annoys most of the other characters.

The love relationship that evolved between SpongeBob and Patrick has caught me off-guard as much as everyone else. I knew they watched a lot of television together, especially a show called Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy, but I had no idea!”

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Barney Google (w/ them Goo-Goo-Googly Eyes) Sues Google Inc. for Copyrighted Infringement


Now forgotten comic legend Barney Google (the guy with the ‘Goo-goo-gooogley Eyes’ according to an old hit song) is suing website mega-giant Google for copyrighted name infringement. Barney claims that Google intentionally used his name to increase their visibility in the marketplace. Contacted for their reply to this accusation Google spokesperson Sharon Yahoo said “Who?” Read the full story

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Posted in Internets TubesComments (0)

Dennis Miller Offering Glenn Beck Sidekick Job


Dennis Miller always had aspirations of being the next Bill O’Reilly or “Billy” as he calls him, or the next Glenn Beck. But, even though he does have his own radio talk show, so far, it’s only gotten him a ticket as a guest wise ass on both of those shows. He wants to be in front of the cameras so bad he can taste it, and now that Glenn Beck is being forced from Fox News, he sees it as his big chance to get ahead in the business. Read the full story

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip, EntertainmentComments (33)

The Mysterious, Dubious Disappearance of “The Far Side’s” Gary Larson


Mysterious was the disappearance of Gary Larson, the famed and beloved creator of the very popular cartoon series The Far Side. One day a successful, widely popular genius behind one of the world’s top selling daily cartoons, the next day missing without a clue. Conspiracy theories abound as to what became of him, but perhaps no one will ever know the answer. Read the full story

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & MiscComments (1)

Homeless “Hippie” and Dogs Arrested for Selling Marijuana to Teens


Venice Beach, CA (GlossyNews) — A local homeless man arrested yesterday has been charged with grand theft auto and selling marijuana to minors, according to police. Shaggy Rogers, known only as “Shaggy” on the street, was arrested after propositioning an undercover police officer with a marijuana cigarette that he called a “Scooby snack.”

After being taken into custody, police discovered that Rogers was also wanted for stealing a van owned by his business partner Freddy Jones of Mystery, Inc.  According to the stolen vehicle report, Jones told police he and Rogers had a falling out over the decline of their business, after which he discovered his “Mystery Machine” Van was missing along with his two dogs, Scooby and Scrappy-Doo. Read the full story

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