Supa Cash Giveaway…

This could cost me billions.

You like the paper, you want to subscribe. It costs you nothing, so why wouldn't you do? No reason. Your name won't be sold and you can unsubscribe at any time.

So what are the restrictions? Glad you asked. In order to get your one real dollar, you must:

1. Subscribe.

2. Tell me what you like best about it.

3. Request directions to my house.

4. Come to my house and get your dollar.*

It's that simple. So congratulations to all you lucky cash recipients out there and I look forward to you telling all your friends so they can get in on this free-money deal too.

* No purchase necessary. Dollar may be paid in loose change, may not actually total a dollar and may be substituted with a Canadian dollar, a Funtasia Batting Cage token, or grocery store coupons. Not valid in states where it's too far for you to drive to my house and states that frown on fraud and deception. May cause grouchiness and irritability in children. Those suffering from heart problems should not participate in this program, but should still subscribe. Thanks for reading this, you're all good in the hood. Just for you, just because you read this far you get a special treat, you get the option of reading this page in jive.

 

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