The parents of Jenna Smith and Rod Kowalski ratified their matrimonial merger proposition by a 75% majority in a late night session last Saturday.

The five-year contract is said to include two children with an option to pick up a third should neither be male. Also included is a mandatory renegotiation period after 57 months. "I think it's a good deal" said Emmy Lou Mason, the contractual maid of honor. "He agreed to not make her change her name and the assets pencil out, so why not? Besides, I even look hot in an ugly sea-foam dress. Look at this ass of mine."

The surname concession was made late in the negotiations in lieu of a severance package upgrade in the event renewal is not executed. Also employment cessation for bearing and rearing in trade for expanded cooking/cleaning allotments.

"I'm excited" reported Mr. Kowalski, "Five years isn't so long. Obviously she wishes to plan the press conference or wedding ceremony if you will, so that was a non-issue. But when it came to the drinking, sodomy and adultery schedule it became very tricky. In the end it's obvious we both want the same thing and will be very much in love until the winter of '07 or '09."

The only vote opposed came from Mr. Kowalski Sr. who was not available for comment, but sources report he felt the lack of name-change and imbalance of liquidity was too great on account of there being no buns of steel clause nor a mandatory felatio window. Further he referred to Ms. Smith as "already a bit thick". Ultimately his vote will only count as indifference with a hindsight reserve for "I told you so."

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