The recent incident involving a haggis window bashing at a Scottish-Canadian home has not gone unnoticed by other nations, each fearing their ethnic delights could be used in the next attack.

Canada has been put on alert for possible "Canadian bacon" attacks, though the pork itself may come from any number of sources around the world. Initial intelligence suggested that use of Canadian Bacon was unlikely due both to the difficulty in causing damage with such a light cut of this other white meat, but also because of the intense pun factor potentially stealing press from their attacks.

Regardless, Canadians have been advised to purchase portable salad bar sneeze-guards to carry them with them at all times or at least when looking out windows at them damn foreigners and such, to avoid injury in the event of an attack.

Other nation's are also on high alert for 'national dish' attacks, though little compares with the fright and "stank" of haggis. Britain is on the lookout for 'bangers and mash', which can be lethal if translated improperly. France for crepes, which caused no fewer than 100 deaths among French citizens just last year. Italy also reports they are on the lookout for spaghetti (though no one has really listened to them.) The US is considering which among it's many national dishes are most throwable, the list including; pizza (still frozen it is American, fresh it is Italian), double bacon cheeseburgers, and even scalding hot apple pies. President Bush has warned, of course, of the hazzards associated with pretzels.

Anheisser Busch, manufacturers of all kinds of low-grade malt liquors, will be searched later this month by UN inspectors after 186 instances of homeland-violence occured courtesy of their beer bottles at a truckstop, hillbilly bar in Plano, Texax. No charges have yet been filed.

Nations with foods unpronouncable are taking guarded precautions to minimize any national or ethnic dish attacks. A special UN Security Council meeting is expected if further incidents occur, though all they plan to do is try to mess with each others interpreters. Victims are advised to keep the 'weapon' refridgerated or eat it immediately to avoid spoilage.