The prisoners would probably accede but for the fact that the zoo lacks several key walls. Namely, all of the walls which would have separated the denizens of the base from the ravenous carnivores kept in the zoo have been omitted. And for some reason, the base wall which had previously served to contain the prisoners as well as "protect them from Communist infiltration" was torn down.

A lion eating Yaseef Muhummad.

But the prisoners don't feel much gratitude. Yaseef Muhammad has just returned from his daily exercise. "The tigers had been fed yesterday, too bad for Asaam Aziz (from cell 22A) that he was slower than everyone else. At least they weren't quite as ravenous after feasting on his remains. But we have swimming tomorrow, and the sharks seem to be hungry no matter how much many Arabs they devour.

Several prisoners have been killed since implementation of the zoo plan. Especially notable was the death of despised Taliban confederate Aman Sinai. His former bunkmate gives a personal account. "It was about 3 in the morning, and I smelled some juicy meat and it was even sizzling for some reason, on the top bunk. I swear I saw someone running away laughing Teeheehee!', and I think he was wearing a military uniform. Anyways, this leopard pounces onto the top bunk and just goes crazy...and that was the end of Aman. Funny thing is, he picked the top bunk 'cause he figured it would be safer, but he wasn't accounting for the leopards, they even stash their prey in trees, you know. I learned that from the National Geographic Channel."

Captain Buehn's rendition of the Guantanamo Bay zoo-base. He's in the top-right corner, wearing a stove-pipe hat, and watching inmates fight lions, giant squid, sharks, and spiders, among other killer, or at least real scary, animals.

When informed that several prisoners had died as a direct result of the combination zoo-base, Captain Buehn replied, "Well, you can't expect us to remember to put in all the walls and stuff like that. Hell, we barely had enough money left over in this year's budget for the shark tank which adjoins the swimming pool in the exercise room. And frankly, I don't see a problem here as long as we're not explicitly killing prisoners. What ever happened to natural selection and survival of the fittest? ."

He added, "And there are signs posted in all the bathrooms which clearly state what the prisoners must do in order to be in compliance with the Geneva Accords."

  

 

This restroom sign shows there's some confusion about the exact wording of the Geneva Accords.

 

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