Office Worker Alienated for Not Liking Shitty Music

Above: A photograph

By Rudager P. Marshall

DALLAS– Geoff Stanhope, 21, who works at a travel agency, has found himself alienated from his coworkers because of his dislike of shitty music. Stanhope often listens to public and college radio stations, while the other employees in the office prefer top 40 stations and other corporate-owned affiliates.

“The first time they heard the station I sometimes listen to, they were almost disgusted,” said Stanhope. “They were playing some bluegrass and Laura [Benton] says, ‘What is this?’ and made a face suggesting great pain.

“Then she asks if I liked this ‘hillbilly’ stuff, and I was like, ‘I guess so.’ They play other genres—within the same set. It's not like it's the fucking bluegrass brainwash station. The previous song was rock and the next one was Patsy Cline or something. They don't play Creed every fifteen minutes, that's for sure.”

This attraction to diverse radio has perplexed the rest of the office staff.

“He never listens to anything I've heard of,” said coworker Max Greenleaf. “I don't know what his deal is.”

“My deal is that I like to be exposed to more than a 20-song playlist,” Stanhope would later explain. “These guys need to hear Pink at least once an hour or they relapse.”

Another alienating aspect of Stanhope's radio choices is his purpose in listening to the radio at work. “I usually turn it on so I can check out some new stuff,” he said. “I listen to CDs in my car, so at work I like to see if there's something out there I don't know about that's any good.”

In contrast, the others do not appear interested in expanding their musical horizons. “They have to listen to the same crap over and over,” Stanhope said. “If they hear anything they're not familiar with, they'll go apeshit. It's a security blanket, I guess.”

Stanhope's alienation is far from the worst consequence of his enjoyment of eclectic radio. “Most of the time, if I've got the office radio on the public station or whatever, it'll get changed before the end of the day,” he said. “Which is cool—I don't want to hog it—but for fuck's sake how many days in a row can a person be subjected to the same six Nickelback, Kylie Minogue, and Linkin Park songs? I don't even want to listen to my CDs as frequently as they gobble up this tripe.”

Despite being ostracized, Stanhope will continue to listen to his favorite stations in the workplace. “I'm not going to sit here and be lobotomized by these people,” he vowed.

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