Above: Adorable militants brandish their statement while their cleverly camouflaged mercenaries gobble up those who mock and coo the wee ones.

Article appears courtesy of Todd "Harpo" Joseph of ShakeChicago.com

St Louis, MI. In a shocking scene witnessed by many, midget terrorists stormed and overtook Six Flags Amusement Park in St. Louis. The terrorist group called "It's Not A Small World After All," made up of an adorable international midget contingency, is demanding that all height requirements for amusement rides be abolished.

For the first several hours it was business as usual around the park while the few people that actually did notice the uprising all thought it was part of the entertainment. Once they managed to finally convince the patrons and operators that they had in fact been overtaken, the terrorist group released the following statement.

"Our great people have endured systemic and systematic discrimination because of the height requirements. We are sick of only being able to ride the tea cups, spider, and ferris wheels. Amusement parks across the country make us hang out with little kids in sections called 'Hanna-Barbara Land' or 'Scooby Doo Island,' We will no longer tolerate persecution."

A spokesman for Six Flags stated that officials had contacted expert mediator Gary Coleman to help with the conflict. However, Mr. Coleman's reputation with the midget community took a huge hit when he failed to attend Tattoo's funeral and instead attended a benefit hosted by Bob Barker. Mr. Coleman in typical fashion blamed the confusion on Willis.

Susan Munchkiphile, a long-time inadequacy psychologist, says that midgets face many humiliating things in society. "Midgets are often asked to pose for trophies or made fun of because you can see their whole body on their driver's license. Naturally, this gives them a big case of short-person syndrome. Oops, I said big, didn't I?"

Officials now believe this to be the biggest uprising by undersized individuals in US history. The great Playpen Riots of 1962 were quickly squashed when all the rioters had to take naps. Also, the Big Wheel Riot of 1989 ended when the group's leader found his missing Tonka Truck.

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