Kincer: (June 22-July 22) - Oh baby. Touch me, right thar. Oh yeah, harder. Dawgone, is thet a claw? Pinch me, right thar. Harder. Oh yeah. Let me put mah han' down thar. Hope yo' doesn't haf crabs.

Leo: (July 23-Aug, acco'din' t' th' code o' th' heells! 22) - Rrrrroar! Fry mah hide! ah run mah fingers through yer mane as yo' claw mah back. Shet mah mouth! Yer so ferocious. Hyar kitty, kitty. Let me pet yer pussy, Tiger.

Virgo: (Aug, acco'din' t' th' code o' th' heells! 23-Sepp. 22) - Yo' may be inexperienced in love, but once ah roll on top of yo' an' put mah tongue into ev'ry o'ifice of yer hide, yo'll be wishin' yo' were born an' raised t'a diffrunt sign, as enny fool kin plainly see. Relax baby, it only hurts once.

Libra: (Sepp. 23-Ock. 23) - ah give yo' fine lovin'. Good wet lovin, elbow deep in yer sensuous a six packs. Be jest an' gimme some lovin' back. Shet mah mouth! Rub yer hide aginst me as ah lay back on yer scales an' wait fo' yo' t'weigh mah love.

Sco'pio: (Ock. 24-Nov. 21) - ah climb on yer back an' roll mah han's beneath yer stomach. ah can feel yer hard exo skeleton below me. Yer tail raises between mah legs an' oh! Fry mah hide! Wal isn't yo' jest a li'l stinger?

Sagittarius: (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) - ah kiss th' arch of yer back, an' press mah hide t'yourn, turnin' yo' aroun' t'face me. Mah han's travel th' len'th of yer hide, until they retch their targit between yer legs. Is thet an arrow in yer pocket o' is yo' jest happy t'see me?

Caprico'n: (Dec. 22-Jan, as enny fool kin plainly see. 19) - ah lick atchar milky nipples. To others, yo' might be jest an old houn'dog. But feel free t'leave them hoof prints in me. Do ah make yo' ho'ny, baby?

Aquarius: (Jan, as enny fool kin plainly see. 20-Feb. Well bust mah britches an' call me streaker. 18) - Bein' th' water gatharr yer, yer so wet. ah imagine ah have a li'l t'do wif thet, on account o' I've embraced yer lips wif mah own an' ah lap yer sweet water into mah mouth.

Pisces: (Feb. Well bust mah britches an' call me streaker. 19-March 20) - Do ah smell fish? Oh, thass jest yo'. Wal, ah have a taste fo' a li'l tuna mahse'f. Let me helter-skelter mah tongue up an' down yer gills an' oh yessuh! Fry mah hide! Yer quite a ketch.

Aries: (March 21-April 19) - ah ram mah hide aginst yourn in th' throes of sexual passhun? Have yo' noticed mah red unnerwar? To'o! Fry mah hide!

Taurus: (April, ah reckon. 20-May 20) - ah ride yo' like a bull, holdin' tight t'th' bedposts as yo' buck an' buck beneath me. Oh buck me, baby. Buck me as hard as yo' kin. Buck me. Buck me! Buck me!! Fry mah hide!! Fry mah hide!

Gemini: (May 21-June 21) - Howsabout a threesom? Yo' kin haftap an' bottom, dawgone it. I'll be th' meat in th' san'wich. Ett me, babies. Swaller me whole.

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