Above: Porn stars must now take steps to insure the clean bill of health they have always been able to maintain. "Hey bitch" offer scientists, "get that [naked green ejaculating] monkey off your back."

WEST AFRICAN GREEN MONKEY SEMEN NOT GOOD FOR YOUR HEALTH ACCORDING TO NEW STUDY. Article appears courtesy of Bisentertainment.

A research team at John Hopkins released a report on Tuesday showing that despite popular belief, it is not safe to ingest the semen of the West African green monkey.

"For years now people have thought that West African green monkey semen would improve both your skin and dexterity," said research group leader, Dr. Julian Agore, "but that just an old wives tale."

In reality, according to the study, the semen of the West African green monkey is harmful perhaps even deadly.

"The West African green monkey carries a variety of diseases that can all be transmitted through its semen. Ingesting it will almost certain lead to illness or death.", said the report. Still there are those who doubt the credibility of the research, such as the Rev. Billy Joe Wilson. "These are just more secular lies put forth to further persecute our religion.", said Rev. Wilson."As a Seventh Day Adventist, one of our core beliefs is that drinking monkey semen will bring us closer to the Lord. I'll be dadgummed if I'm going to let these pagans tell me who's semen I can and can't drink."

Rev. Wilson went on to add, "Science isn't infallible they been wrong before. Remember that whole evolution hoax they came up with a few years ago."

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