In a three-month study of internet traffic conducted by Glossy Colossal Marketing, it was found that articles containing boobies and female nudity was almost twice as popular as those featuring George W. Bush.

"I think it's pretty simple." Explains Derek Long, Web designer and renowned Mastur Bator. "Sweet teats never get old, Dubya never gets new."

While the results may not surprise some readers, a shift in satirical focus may be forthcoming from a variety of sources. Glossy News has long produced unpopular, in depth, political stories, as well as blockbuster articles about nudity and acts of depravity. Some articles have been so popular that the online magazine has actually sold out.

Most of the smutty articles on Glossy News are thrown together "in a matter of minutes", explains one insider, "often translated by machines from the babble of infants or fabricated comprising random words." In exceptional cases they feature a single well written paragraph repeated four or five times affording the porn curious reader an opportunity to view such trash with the appearance of consuming material of journalistic or literary value.

The complete, in-depth findings will be published early next month in the pamphlet of Obvious Stuff We Shoulda Guessed.