"One pill makes you larger..."

"Well we knew that people would be excited about the song in the first place. I mean, come on, everyone knows the song and the first line is famous. One pill makes you larger? Sure does, it's a scientifically proven fact. Our decision to bring Bob Dole back was easy. He's recognizable, he's worked with us before, he cost way less than you'd expect, and according to our research, he's very sexy. Not sure what that last part is all about, but that's not my department... Oh, and his hand is all psychedelic for our Woodstock retro thing."

"and if you go chasing rabbits..."

"I was initially kind of opposed to this concept. Apparently there are senior citizens with rabbit fetishes who still have trouble performing. Ever had a rabbit mock your virility? They aren't exactly known for their stamina themselves. The site of Bob Dole chasing a white rabbit with his cock out honestly was not my idea. The networks made us blur over it as you can see in the still shot here. The animal rights activists gave us a hard time. Ha! Hard time. Sorry. But we didn't actually let him have a crack at Mr. bunny. Oh yeah, that's the other thing, the bunny was a guy. Didn't know that until we got him on the set."

"call Alice, when she was just small"

"This is more for our international market. I know the U.S. is pretty sticky when it comes to politicians and children. I didn't think the image was that bad but what do I know? I haven't been to 'Law School', and I've never filibustered on the floor of congress. I have had sex with interns though, not really frowned on within our organization."

"get up and tell you where to go"

"Image of Dole saluting is so symbolic. Look at how straight his back is? He is so friggen' upright it's just inspirational. Virile man, plain virile. Just looking at a symbol of manliness and physical cooperation like that makes me about 30% chubby myself."

"and you've just had some kind of mushroom"

"Networks over-ruled this one too. Shot was too offensive. I had to agree with them. I mean, we wanted to push the envelop, but we may have pushed a little over-much. There are some of the local affiliate channels who are asking to see the uncut version. Not of the commercial I mean the uncut version of his mushroom tipped wrinkle tool. I spent a lot of time working on this commercial and spent way, way, way more time than I care to admit looking at this frame. It really isn't that bad. I don't even think the networks looked at it to be real with you."

"And you're mind is moving low"

"We had to do a lot of re-touching on this frame. He just kept spanking her and spanking her and it wasn't even scripted. The energy and the improv was great and it was really helpful that he was so spontaneous about it all, but the poor girl was just taking a beating."

"Go ask Alice, I think she'll know"

"Oh Alice knows all kinds of things... yeah... mm, God Alice where have you been... I'm sorry I trailed off there. Yeah, she was a good contribution. Picked her myself. The commercial is just saying that women who are sexy know what it takes... My God do they know what it takes. Don't get me started."

"When logic and proportion have fallen sloppy dead"

"This was a big compromise. Originally we were going to show something was sloppy seconds, a disproportionate erection, or someone without viagra 'falling'. In the end we figured we could just show him like this. Unshaven, groggy, and with that "Who the hell are you, what the hell happened last night, and why can't I pee straight" look on his face. Mrs. Dole really doesn't like us, but whatever. They still don't make a pill that makes me care."

"And the Queen's off with her head"

"I wanted to use a drag queen but we knew that would never fly. I mean, if they won't show Bob Doles helmet-head on national television, do you really think they'd show a drag queen getting off by giving him head? No. I don't think so anyway. Besides, none of us wanted to cast a drag queen. Well Bruce did, but he's still a new guy so he doesn't get that kind of pull yet."