Last week we reported that President George Bush traded Florida to Cuba for two short stops and a pitcher. In fact, it was a pitcher, a mascot and a minor league catcher to be named at a later date.

We also reported last week that Jesus Christ was boo'd at the All Star game. This was completely in error and we are sincerely sorry. It turns out someone on our staff outright STOLE that article from The Rail. The original article was written about the NBA All Star game in which Kobe Bryant was boo'd by his hometown after he played a fantastic game. It is very perplexing and angering that someone who grew up in Philadelphia and then went on to have great success could be hated by his own people. There he was, entertaining them with stunning ability and moves rarely seen outside the ballet, and they booed him. And it wasn't a playoff game or anything--it was a game to celebrate the sport and it's greatest players. Also, these people booed Santa Claus, so I feel the Jesus analogy fit. Further, it is important to note that A) Booing is a much warmer reception than Jesus got last time he appeared in the flesh and B) Jesus could not get tickets to the All Star game.

Last week we also reported that a Hare Krishna Chapter was forced to file bankruptcy after one of the member's drums was stolen. It turns out the drum was forgotten in the bathroom where it remained all week until he discovered it on a subsequent trip. Despite the recovery of the drum, the chapter will be forced to file for bankruptcy protection because "everyone wants to kick their asses anyways".

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