Football is one of the greatest sports ever conceived of or indeed even known to mankind. It is with this tribute in mind that AOL has committed to supporting the world football community both finanically, in web and media coverage, as well as in very spirit.

But by Football it's important point out that we do not mean "soccer", which is a game played only by girls, small children and homosexuals. AOL does not support soccer, AOL supports football. Real football, American football.

AOL supports Football by purchasing advertisements throughout the NFL, by slipping designer steroids to top ranked running backs, and by throwing cash at any player thusly inclined to the oblong pigskin, even former players in that miserably conceived XFL, which died off immediately, but still not nearly quickly enough.

Even that David Beckham fellow is far too footy for the likes of AOL. Scientists agree that even our pansy-assed logo guy could totally take him in any sport he'd propose to play, even in that girly soccer shit, which even girls are embarrassed to play in America. At least, that's AOL's stand on the matter, but as stock values should tell you, we're always right.

Bend It Like Beckham was pretty good, AOL guesses, but it would have been way hotter if those two main chicks totally like stripped to their skivvies and munched it out all freaky-like after a sweaty rave. That's be the cat's meow as attested by any pussy, and so says AOL, and so it is.