When Princeton announced Marshawn Lynch of Beast Mode fame would speak to grads, other schools scrambled to attract headline-makers. Since, all education’s virtual at this point because of Covid-19 protocols, these speeches will be online to grads. This will give you too the opportunity to hear them And, they will give Universities a chance to tout gift-giving portals and in some cases suck up to their own grads who have made names for themselves. Here is the most current list of grad speech offerings:
Princeton
Marshawn Lynch “Taking Care of Your Mentals and Chicken”
(Beast Mode Football Player) [Living Oaktown Values After Graduation]
Canisius College
Bernie Sanders “Greats Who Finished Second – More than Once”
(Senator/Socialist) [The early ‘90s Buffalo Bills and Avis get Shout-Outs]
College of the Holy Cross
Anthony S. Fauci, M.D. “Mr. Science: Correcting the Always Right”
(NIAID Director, Infectious Disease Specialist) [Covid-19 Act with President Conspiracy Believer]
The Culinary Institute of America
Justin Bieber “Get Real: It’s Still Yummy, Yummy, Yummy”
(Singer/Foodie) [Eating Chinese Food Washed Down with a Corona]
Bob Jones University
Rudy Giuliani “Ukraine, You Saw, But You Didn’t Conquer”
(Lawyer, Mouthpiece) [Hunter and Joe Biden: No Fake News Here]
Nothwestern University
Meghan Merkle “Every Woman is a Princess”
(Prince Harry’s Wife/ New Canuck/ Alum] [Landing Your Prince Charming This Decade]
U.C. Berkeley
David Scavino “Hire ‘em! Fire ‘em: Avoiding Your Boss’s Wrath”
(Trump Advisor; Director of Social Media) [Longest Serving Trump Administration Aide]
Wellesley
Beyonce “Solange & Sisterhood: Years After Elevator-gate”
[Singer-Songwriter married to Jay-Z) [Going All Out for a Sister – Always the Priority]
Liberty University
Sean Hannity “So-Called Global Warning: Climategate”
(Fox News Talking Head/ Apologist) [America Last – Phony Science from the Left]
Stanford
Smokey the Bear & The Tree “Burning Down the Greenhouse”
(Fire Prevention Spokesperson & Mascot) [Wildfires in the Amazon, Australia and the West]
U.C.L.A.
Stephen Miller “Conspiracy: Ghetto Academy Winners & Pandemics”
(Trump Speechwriter/White Nationalist) [COVID-19/Parasite; Swine Flu/Slumdog Millionaire;
SAARS/Chicago – Did Bill and Melinda Finance Them?]
M.I.T.
A.J. Hinch & Jeff Luhnow “The Numbers Don’t Lie: Tech and Integrity”
(Discredited Astros Manager and G.M.] [Formulating Baseball’s Cheating Scandal]
Dartmouth
William Barr “The Constitution: What’s Worth Saving”
(Attorney General / Redactor-in-Chief) [A Different Perspective After Obama Years]
U.S.C.
Martin Scorcese “Making Biden and Trump Look Younger”
(Director, The Irishman) [Worked With De Niro, Pesci, and Pacino, Didn’t It?]
S.F. State
Nancy Pelosi “All Right Then, HE Can Go to Hell!”
(Speaker of the House] [Huck Finn-like Ripper — Trump State of Union Speech]
Barnard
Greta Thunberg “Me for V.P. on Biden’s Ticket?”
(17-year-old Climate/Environmental Activist) [To Make Average Age of Ticket less than 50)
University of Idaho
Mitch McConnell “Why I Love Moscow, IDAHO, After Nancy’s Attack”
(Senate Majority Leader] [Calls Me “Moscow Mitch” for Blocking Leftist Laws]
The University of Houston
James Harden “Nietzsche’s Supermen Don’t Pass the Rock Neither”
[NBA Scorer/Ball Hog] [Ubermensch Taking Control; Giannis Be Damned]
Oklahoma University
Clint Eastwood “Timothy McVeigh and the Federal Building”
(Actor/Director/Right Winger) [NRA Right to Bear Arms Still Not Questionable]
The U. – Miami University
J.Lo “A-Rod: Cheated Out of Baseball’s Hall of Fame”
(Icon) [Steroid Suspicions Aside, He Always Had a Big Bat]
U.S. Naval Academy
Eddie Gallagher “You Have Nothing to Lose But Your Chains”
(Navy Seal Saved by Trump Intercession) [Chains of Command, That Is, Not the Marx Ones]
L.S.U.
Stormy Daniels “The Wall: Erection at the Southern Border”
(Actress; Director; Michael Cohen Payee) [Why It’s Doomed Not To Go Up]
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By: Ken Hogarty
(415) 760-8045
Kenhogarty@gmail.com