Tag Archive | "union"

Bread Bath & Beyond Unearths Ancient Toy in Corporate Warehouse


Union, New Jersey – Chief Inventory Specialist, Brandon Pitabeard of Bread Bath & Beyond’s corporate headquarters made an astonishing discovery Monday morning when he found a toy dating back to the era when Olive Garden’s roamed the earth, more than 226 days ago.

Pitabeard found the antiquated toy, while extracting the store’s seasonal supply of Kim Kardashian Khristmas trees from the corporate warehouse, featuring an extra large base and a picture of her and ex-husband Kris Humphries on the top. Read the full story

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Tea Party Warns of Threat to American Onion


TOPEKA – Members of the Kansas Tea Party are drawing considerable attention after they released a documentary warning of a threat to the “American Onion.”

Director Shelley Burnell explained her film’s purpose, saying:

“For generations America has existed as an onion of sovereign states, and that tradition is being threatened by liberal politicians seeking to undermine the fundamental layers of constitutionalism and proper government. Read the full story

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Roving Bands of Children Rule Chicago


CHICAGO- While the teachers strike is in full swing, the closing of public schools has allowed roving bands of children to compete for supremacy on Chicago’s streets. While reports are unclear which group has gained the most territory, it is understood that there are power struggles through out the city.

The children, ranging from ages 5 to 17, have organized themselves in to small militia groups based on preexisting gang affiliations. Read the full story

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Arena Football Eases Fans Qualms About Suffering an NFL Lockout


Do you struggle to understand the meaning of life? Worried your bladder will explode while riding an elevator? Scratching an itchy ear with a paper clip (quite frankly, who hasn’t)? Then there’s an event happening nearby that’ll make your scalp tingle. It’s the 2011 Arena Football League (AFL) season. Read the full story

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Viagra Concession Ends Transit Strike


Philadelphia, PA – Transit workers in Philadelphia, threatening to continue their strike for a raise in more than their salaries, have won a battle with the Southern Pennsylvania Transportation Authority to have most of their health care costs covered, including full-month prescriptions for Viagra and similar prescription medicines to treat erectile dysfunction (ED). Read the full story

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