Tag Archive | "trial"

Pistorius’ Defence ‘A Shot in the Dark’


A leaked document has been revealed to the press outlining Oscar Pistorius’ proposed defence arguments in his ongoing murder trial.

The legal brief describes the three main planks to his defence designed to undermine the prosecutors case.Firstly he is to claim that he ‘just really really really needed the toilet’ and to refer to expert testimony from his five doctors that being denied the ability to urinate can lead to temporary insanity otherwise referred to as ‘yellow streak psychosis’. Read the full story

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Texas Judge In Quite the Moral Quandary After Unborn Fetus Kills 3


WACO, TEXAS — The Hon. Judge Earl Baker is reportedly “in a pretty big pickle” following the conviction of an unborn fetus who was found guilty of murdering a family of three earlier this year.

According to court records from the case of Texas v. Fetus, jurors found the fetal defendant guilty on all three counts of first degree murder but, as Judge Baker put it, “I’m havin’ a hell of a time sortin’ this whole thing out and comin’ up with an appropriate sentence, on account of the fact that it would technically be an abortion if we were to throw the switch on that adorably tiny sociopath.” Read the full story

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Fig Newton Controversy Awaits Trial


LOS ANGELES-Forensic investigators (right) search a house for evidence after a reliable source reported that a middle-aged man allegedly consumed an entire Fig Newton and “actually enjoyed it”.

The criminal’s name will be kept private for obvious safety reasons and there is no word, yet, regarding how much time passed before his stomach was pumped. This is only the second Fig Newton related case confirmed in the United States within the last year. Read the full story

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