Tag Archive | "the Donald"

My Spirited Defense of Donald Trump


Donald Trump is a great American. In the past nine months, he has done a masterful job of uniting millions of Americans from all different backgrounds – admittedly mostly by uniting them in their deep hatred and fear of Donald Trump. But that’s simply because they’ve not gotten to know him the way I have.

If only he had more TV exposure, then people would see the light. Read the full story

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Hey Kids: Make Your Own ‘Trump for President’ Bumper Stickers


Hey Kids! Have Some Fun Cutting Out These ‘Trump For President’ Bumper Stickers!!!

Here is what you need for a little summer fun! Just print off these patriotic bumper stickers, snitch a pair of scissors and some glue from your mom when she isn’t looking and have a blast pasting them all over cars in your neighborhood!

What better way to spend a summer day!

What better way to experience juvenile detention at an early age!

Think of all the no-fun you’ll have!

CHUMP FOR PRESIDENT!!
(NO, IT IS SPELLED RIGHT)

PAID FOR BY DEMOCRATS MESSING WITH THE
REPUBLICAN PARTY.

MAKE LIFE BETTER FOR
THE 1%!
VOTE TRUMP!!!!!!!!!

BRING WORLD WAR III IN
WITH A BANG!!!!!!!
TRUMP FOR PRESIDENT!!!!!!!

VOTE DONALD TRUMP FOR PRESIDENT!!!

Keep the political satirists and cartoonists
employed for the next four years!

MAKE AMERICA SAFE FOR THE OLIGARCHY!
MAKE TRUMP THE MAN!!!!!!

PROVE TO THE WORLD THAT IN THE U.S.
ANYONE THROUGH SHEER ARROGANCE
AND AGGRESSIVENESS CAN BECOME PRESIDENT

VOTE TRUMP!!!

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Trump to Open Chain of Children’s Casinos


Free-market capitalist and cranial gopher rescue haven Donald Trump has announced this week that he’ll open a new line of casinos aimed squarely at the children’s market.

Many see this as a provocative, or even illegal move, but since all planned locations will be on floating river barges or tribal land, and they plan to file as 501(c)(4) “social welfare organizations,” they are expected to avoid legal scrutiny. Read the full story

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Trump to Host Romney Bacon-Wrapped Foie Gras Dinner Fundraiser


TRUMP TOWER, NYC —GlossyNews The final logistics for “Trump’s Huge Gourmet Dinner to Fund Gov. Romney” have been released. The Donald announced that “on landing at Kennedy the fortunate attendees – the chosen folk – will receive free post-flight ground transportation in the Trump vehicle, a personal guided tour and overnight stay at the Trump International Hotel & Tower and have a gourmet dinner with me, Donald Trump. And Mitt, of course. How could I ever forget Mitt? I’m hosting his fundraiser dinner! Read the full story

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Trump Ends Presidential Bid Due to Medical Condition


Donald Trump announced today that he won’t be seeking the GOP nomination for President in 2012. While many speculated it was because he realized that he would have a hard time securing that nomination, even if he bought it, the truth is, he’s quitting on doctor’s orders.

Dr. Harvey Finkelstein, one of Trump’s many personal physicians, stated that his patient suffers from a severe case of thin skin. Read the full story

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President Obama Offers up Authentic Treasure Map to Throw Off Birther Scent


The quest for definitive evidence that Barack Obama was born (or not born) in the United States is heating up once again. This time, it is millionaire Donald Trump (or billionaire if you’re asking Trump himself) who is leading the scavenger hunt. Tired of all of the hubbub about where he was born, the President is finally taking matters into his own hands by offering up an authentic treasure map to throw Trump off the birther scent. Read the full story

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Mayans, Nostradamus Agree on Donald Trump Armageddon Scenario


Machu Picchu, dusk – GlossyNews.com: After ten seconds of reciprocal nodding over candlelight, Nostradamus and Mayan elders have announced they are in complete agreement with their Donald Trump apocalyptic destruction prophecies.

“I clearly mentioned that guy in the 3rd verse of the 4th Quatrain,” declared Nostradamus, whose only failed prediction was his own death in 1566. Read the full story

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