Tag Archive | "student"

Student Not Traumatized After Sex With Teacher


15-year-old Josh Hanby claims he was not at all traumatized after having sex with his 27-year-old French Teacher Ms. Elaine Francois and actually seemed to enjoy the experience.

“Man, it was fricking great!” Hanby stated. “She’s smokin hot! I’d do her again if she wasn’t locked up!”

Despite Hanby’s obvious enjoyment of the experience, law enforcement personnel were notified and Ms Francois has been arrested for statutory rape of a person under 16. If convicted she faces a minimum of 5 years behind bars and will have to register as a sex offender for the rest of her life.

Police say that on April 13 of this year Hanby stopped off at Ms Francois residence for some “private tutoring” in French. During the tutoring session Hanby made mention of the size of Ms Francois’ breasts and put his hand on her thigh. Things quickly escalated out of control until the two engaged in a torrid act of copulation.

Hanby’s father said he didn’t think Ms. Francois should be incarcerated. “That boy has not stopped smiling since it happened!” the father declared. “His grades are going up, he’s more attentive at school, he’s participating in sports and he’s the envy of all his friends!”

Psychologists have determined that regardless of the young man’s initial experience, he will suffer trauma later in life. “Sex at such a young age could result in psychosis, hallucinations and a host of psychological problems”, said childhood psychologist Barry Carne. “To maintain good mental health a child should remain a virgin until at least 17”.

Meanwhile, the young Hanby has started dating 16-year-old cheerleader Vanessa Bertalucci. “Now if I get laid it will be legal. At least until she turns 18”, the young man stated.

Share

Posted in Top StoriesComments (0)

Student Cramming in Some Last Minute Procrastination


MUNCIE, IN – Ahead of his first midterm exam Monday, Ball State University English major, Ross O’Keefe, was hard at work Sunday cramming in some much-needed and last minute procrastination.

Equipping himself with the tools required to compose a detailed essay on literary criticism, with particular reference to the works of Mark Twain, the 18-year-old spent a good portion of Sunday night dicking around on Facebook. Read the full story

Share

Posted in EducationComments (2)

Glossy News Exclusive Exposés


-- (SEE ALL GlossyNews.com Videos) --



Glossy News Fake Commercials!





Glossy News Podcast


(Listen on iTunes or Libsyn)


More Great Satire:

Check out links to even more of our friends...
Want to see Your Link Here?



Our Top Authors (last 30-days)



All of Our Categories:

Top Stories - Top Stories; Politics - Top Stories; Serious Commentary - Top Stories; World News - Top Stories; Biz News - Top Stories; War Zone | Horoscopes
Entertainment - Entertainment; Celebrity Gossip - Entertainment; Television - Entertainment; Music - Entertainment; Internet Tubes - Entertainment; Books, Newspapers & Misc - Entertainment; Movies
Society - Society; Health - Society; Crime - Society; Travel - Society; Crooked Cops - Society; Education - Society; Strange People - Society; Religionism - Society; Human Interest - Society; Kidz Zone
Science and Technology - Science and Technology; Science - Science and Technology; Technology - Science and Technology; Gadgets & Gizmos - Science and Technology; Environment
Sports - Sports; Scandals - Sports; Athletes - Sports; Events | All the Rest - News in Your Briefs - Making Headlines - Opinion/Editorial