Hollywood CA — People Magazine has ruled — Depp won! Pirates Beat Vampires! was the header online — with an eye-popping 6.3 million total votes cast! Johnny Depp, mid-40s, is the World’s Sexiest Man!

Who were the contenders, aside from Loser Vampire Pattinson? —who took down a mere 2.3 million votes for second place. Well, in a twist of fun the editors of PM said they wanted the voting to be “like super” in 2009 so they threw in some real difficult votables to pass up. Read the full story

Who was the Illuminati’s PNAC stooge that got the US embroiled in two illegal foreign wars – solely to steal oil and opium – then a monster recession of Biblical proportions – ending up his two dodgy four-year terms with a terminal public approval rating of a toxic 2%? (In Texas.)

Why, George Dubya Bush, of course – for it was he – who since 2001 has inspired millions of people to commit suicide or smite thy good neighbour – and even vote Democrat — is now about to set out on a new career as a highly-paid ‘motivationalising’ speaker. Read the full story