Posted on 30 October 2014.
Announcer: With Dick and Janey on vacation this week, we will be rerunning an earlier interview with Mr. J. Foghill Bottom, the State Department’s resident specialist on diplomatic etiquette.
Because President Obama was criticized early in his presidency for bowing to foreign royalty, this interview was an attempt to find out what exactly is U.S. policy on presidential bowing.
Janey: Welcome, Mr. Bottom.
Dick: Or, to put it a little more in the vernacular: Bottom’s up! Read the full story
Posted in Politics
Posted on 26 September 2014.
WASHINGTON — The Department of Homeland Security released a statement yesterday afternoon warning U.S. citizens of recent efforts by a group of homegrown radicals whom officials say are “out-for-blood.” Reports indicate the organization is calling itself Red Cross.
According to sources, the group’s signature act of torture involves draining the blood from humanitarians unfortunate enough to find themselves on a Red Cross “tablé” (pronounced taw-blay or tay-bul), which is a device not unlike the infamous “rack” used in the Spanish Inquisition. Read the full story
Posted in War Zone
Posted on 16 May 2010.
May 14, 2010: Posted from a secure, undisclosed location by Glossy News South American correspondent in hiding.
It is still too early to speak definitively, but if that busboy is correct, the United States’ longest and most costly war is nearing an end.
An open secret in this sleepy Latin American town, high level negotiations have been ongoing for several days between puritanical US forces and the ever present need among ‘Gringos’ to get more stoned than a drag queen in Iran. Read the full story
Posted in Society
Posted on 24 July 2009.
Washington – Secretary of State Hillary Clinton declared today the State Department‘s independence from the Obama Administration. Press Secretary Robert Gibbs reported that President Obama reacted very coolly to the news. “His only comment,” Gibbs said, was, “Let’s all be calm about this and give everybody a few weeks to sort things out.” Read the full story
Posted in Politics, Top Stories