Racing Legend Speed Racer Dead at 63

Former racing legend Speed Racer was found dead in his rented mobile home this afternoon by his ex-wife Trixie Racer. It would appear Speed had been dead at least a month.

No cause of death was given until an autopsy can be performed, but Racer was known to have had issues with drugs and alcohol for many years.

“I wish I had known Speed was so depressed, because I might have been able to save him,” said Trixie before quickly adding, “not that I would have!”

Racer rose to prominence in 1969 as a self-professed ‘adrenaline junkie,’ and he enjoyed racing at speeds exceeding 200 mph. He became notorious on the racing circuit after most of his opponents wound up dead from either being driven off the road or from gunshot wounds.

In 1971, Racer’s father “Pops” Racer was sent to prison for 2 years for stealing the design plans for the famous Mach V race car from Toyota. Without use of the car, Speed’s career was cut short as he seemed unable to drive anything else. Sadly, Pops died in 1980 due to complications from obesity.

In 1972, his younger brother, Spridle, had to have his beloved pet chimpanzee ‘Chim-Chim” put down after the chimpanzee ripped a woman’s face off. Later that same year, Spridle died in an accident as he was riding in the trunk of a ’65 Chevy Bel Air as the car was rear-ended by Speed’s brother, Rex Racer. Rex had been in town trying to visit his father in prison and to repair relations with his estranged family. Rex has since gone back into hiding.

Speed’s former best friend and auto mechanic, Sparky, ‘came out’ in 1971 and is the retired editor of Buff Dudes Magazine. The Racer family cut off all ties with Sparky after his disclosure.

Speed and Trixie married in 1970, and they had two children. The marriage was turbulent as Racer could not control his desire for alcohol and cocaine. The marriage ended in 1982.

Speed also proved to be a better race car driver than businessman as he died almost penniless.

Funeral services are incomplete.

Author: NickFun

Is it REALLY all that important that you know my biography? Do you want to know the litany of women I have slept with? Do you need to know where I work or what I do for a living? Is there something about my life you can't bear not knowing? PERV!!!

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