NEW YORK – CNN today announced its new policy of issuing trigger warnings before showing the face of President Donald Trump to viewing audiences.
“We know the mere mention of President’s Trump name or the sight of his face is enough to trigger serious emotional distress or even seizures in a large part of our viewing audience,” said Wolf Blitzer of CNN. “So we believe that this is an appropriate policy for our time. Families with children will really appreciate this warning, as the mere sight of Trump reportedly makes many babies, small infants, and millennials cry uncontrollably.”
CNN has estimated that millions of viewers have turned off CNN because of their sheer terror that Trump may appear on their screens and further traumatize them with his blunt language, harsh policies, and brutish lack of diplomatic tact.
“Just as we issue warnings before showing bloody, mangled corpses after mass murders or terrorist attacks, so we will issue warnings before showing the face of Donald J. Trump or mentioning his name.”