WASHINGTON, D.C. – The Barbie doll turned fifty-one recently, and First Lady Michelle Obama noted the occasion by announcing that Barbie would serve as the official spokesperson for the White House’s anti-childhood-obesity campaign.

“If America’s young people looked more like Barbie and Ken, and less like Jack and Kelly Osbourne,” said the first lady, “this country could get its butt in gear again.” Read the full story