Tag Archive | "romney"

“Men in Suits” determine the future of the GOP


Several suited men are pouring over papers scattered on a desk before them.

“So, it comes down to this: The Corporations are deciding on either Gingrich or Santorum to be the Republican representative for the Republican platform in the Presidential election.” stated the man in the gray suit.

“We’ll make sure that the other candidates fall by the wayside after the South Carolina Primary. Romney just won’t make a strong enough puppet for us to get our bills passed through Congress. If we are going to be the Marines for getting Corporate control of America then we are going to need a strong front man we can work through. Read the full story

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Gingrich Halted By Month-old Shooting


BATON ROUGE, LA —EBBQ Newt Gingrich hastily called a press conference after appearing on Sean Hannity’s FOXNEWS telecast.

He said in opening the sparsely attended 2-reporter conference: “I was completely misquoted in my answer to Sean where he said that I had harshly criticized President Obama for his comment on Trayvon Martin’s tragic shooting. Read the full story

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Etch-A-Mitt™ Galvanizes The GOPTea™


NORTH WISCONSIN  —GlossyNews  “America hasn’t been working,” Romney said at a recent political rally in north Wisconsin, “…and I believe it’s because they don’t have jobs. Wisconsin is like all the rest of the states. Where have all your jobs gone to, I ask you?”

He continued, “In my quest to become your president, I have been seeking Middle Class endorsements from deep within the nation’s Middle Class. Read the full story

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If Republican Candidates Had Lived At Other Times In History


Had the key 2012 Republican candidates* lived previous lives, what might have been their comments at the following historical events?

THE MIDDLE AGES- A WITCH BURNING:

SANTORUM: This harlot before us is one of Satan’s own who has used her for a tool of His evil! We must burn her until only the ashes of her sinfulness remain. The evidence shows her wickedness: She was seen dancing naked in the moonlight, she does not attend church on the Sabbath day, and she bathes only once a month. Read the full story

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WikiLeaks Reveals Newt-Mitt Meeting Details


Normally talkative sources from campaigns Gingrich and Romney remain silent on a recent summit between the two bitter rivals. Characterized by both camps as more a social ‘let bygones be bygones’ affair, the meeting has left election watchers wondering whether more than genteel rapprochements were exchanged. Suggestions of a quite different meeting were revealed this week, via a totally unexpected source. Read the full story

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VP 2012: Mitt’s Pick gets Nitpicked


ON THE GOPTEA™ TRAIL —GlossyNews Inevitable, unstoppable, charismatic Juggernaut Willard ‘Mitt’ Romney faced heated questioning this week on the issue of VP selection. The name Rand Paul has been surfacing with increased frequency among Romney confidantes, leading some election watchers to speculate whether unholy bargains have been made down at the Crossroads. Read the full story

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It’s Debatable: Can the GOPTea Pull 2012 Out of Their…es (1 of 7)


DE BATE, NEW HAMPSHIRE —BobZaguy By now you know that 7 GOPTea members debated in New Hampshire. While the debate was held in that state, there was no intent by any participant to play to that state — rather the play was pushed to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, Washington DC.

This is the first in our 7-part series on this topic. Each day for the next week we’ll cover one of the between six and eight debaters that appeared. Read the full story

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Romney Cooks Up New Image for 2012


CHICAGO, IL (GlossyNews) — During an interview in a Chicago bus station on Wednesday, Mitt Romney said, “I think that one of the things that’s very important in running a successful presidential campaign is to make sure that voters can easily recognize what you are known for – those things that really motivate you.” He held up his new signature snow globe with WTF initials inside. Read the full story

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