Tag Archive | "Rick Santorum"

12 Exciting 2017 News Snippets You DEFINITELY Won’t Have Seen Yet! (Or Believed…) (2/2)


Jess Phillips Stabs Jeremy Corbyn in the Front! Like, LITERALLY, duuuuuuuuuude! Phillips Outraged at Subsequent Wildly Disproportionate Twitter Harassment

Moderate Khameine-ite Ayatollah Legitimizes Reverse Chickengirl Position for Some Edgier Farmyard Fun

Alex Jones Joins Washington Post, Furnishes Numerous Useful Insights on Russian Hacking Allegations Read the full story

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Rick Perry/Johnny Cash Article: Long-Winded Disclaimer & Non-Apology


Within seconds of publishing my article on Rick Perry as future Last Republican President and Johnny Cash Wannabe, my covert stash of hatemail, hater-mail and hateful-male-mail was inundated…

With millions upon billions of complaints about what some people considered to be a disrespectful gay come-on to Rick Perry.

Well, hey! It does appear that for some of you ‘open-minded-within-reason’ folks out there, ‘gay’ and ‘disrespectful’ are pretty synonymous. Still, let me remind you what I said last time. Read the full story

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Rick Santorum Declares Himself Trans-Sexual…. But NOT Transsexual! (2/2)


Time for a bit of

mutual mud-slinging, entrenched opinions and the politics of disagreement

as one notable satirical persona says.

Or again, as another such persona says:

Of course, it’s perfectly true, from one perspective, that…

But the other side of this dilemma, which is equally undeniable and obvious…

Let’s see how US politicians have responded to Santorum’s confession that he is trans-sexual, but definitely, definitely not transsexual. Read the full story

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Rick Santorum Declares Himself Trans-Sexual…. But NOT Transsexual! (1/2)


Rick Santorum has not given the warm and generous welcome to the Supreme Court decision that a number of Republicans had anticipated.

So he’s decided to avoid a false neutrality on this occasion and really speak from the heart.

This may come as a surprise to not a few of you, but I think the new rules are actually totally heterophobic.

I mean, why can’t I have a gay marriage if I want it? So seriously, in order to have a gay marriage, you actually have to be gay? Read the full story

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Perry/Santorum: Top Papal Award, Christian Fakers Annihilated


Oh-so-conspicuously unashamed Christian, Rick Perry, is not actually painfully, embarrassingly, and conspicuously unashamed today; just plain-ol’-vanilla-grindin’ embarrassed.

Pope Francis has accidentally made Perry a Papal Knight, instead of the similarly-monikered Rick Santorum.

But far from being flattered, Perry is distinctly underwhelmed by this high accolade…

Just Google-pedia his (kind of) acceptance speech at the Vatican; the 13 dozen (-trillion-ish?) megahit Youtube postings, and thousands and thousands of thoroughly unamusing and utterly disrespectful and malicious web-parodies™… Read the full story

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip, ReligionismComments (0)

China Becomes Puppet State of Malta


News sources from the Far East are reporting that a successful coup has brought the People’s Republic of China under Maltese control as a puppet state.

Sleeper agents from the island nation are believed to have been activated last evening in Beijing and proceeded to capture major instruments of government, including the Communist Party Central Committee and Central Military Commission. Read the full story

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Posted in War Zone, World NewsComments (1)

News of Cheap, Effective Contraceptive has Women Applauding Santorum Supporter


The news out of Michigan this morning is that not all women in America are angry at Santorum financial backer, Foster Friess for stating that a safe and effective form of birth control for women is a simple aspirin placed between the knees.

Women were lined up at pharmacies around the country buying up every aspirin tablet they could get their hands on and pharmacists were inundated with questions such as “Will BC Powder work just as effectively if I sprinkle some between my…uhm, legs?” Read the full story

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Posted in HealthComments (2)

Aging Gingrich Sucking Life Out of Youthful Santorum Race


Volunteers for GOP candidate Rick Santorum say they are growing more tired by the day trying to come up with good things to say about Newt Gingrich in order to keep the Gingrich/Santorum tag team going against candidate Mitt Romney.

“At first we thought, ok, Newt is a bright dude, he has a bit more Washington experience than our Rick does, and ganging up on Romney would get us further than if we went after him ourselves,” said Jim Voeticki, chief organizer of the Santorum campaign. Read the full story

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Santorum is Definitely ‘In It To Win It’


GMA NEW YORK —GlossyNews “We stood up and didn’t back away. We told everyone, ‘We’re In It to Win It,’ and we didn’t back down. Really, we didn’t back down,” former Senator Rick Santorum said. No one was standing next to him as he spoke at this televised pre-announcement press conference to announce his decision to have a presidential campaign kick-off press conference. Read the full story

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GOP Debate in Review: Come for the Crazy, Stay for the Crazy (6 of 7)


DE BATE, NEW HAMPSHIRE —BobZaguy We’re now six-days in on our review of the recent GOP freak show debate. We’re covering seven of the leading Republican Partiers present at the debate in New Hampshire.

This recap is intended for those who tried to stay awake for the whole time, but just couldn’t do it. It’s also for anyone who didn’t watch who needs the skinny on what went down. Read the full story

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