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Glossy News Classics (I): Benjamin Cain’s ‘Hardline Atheists Condemn Sleep and Sex as Irrational’


NOTE FROM WALLACE: As one of the very longest running fake news satire outlets of all time, Glossy News has had a lot of classics over the years. Here’s one of the pieces that really stood out.

In my opinion: you’re already doing well if you can put good content in the mouths of your satire personas. But to mimic their style is really quite an advanced skill. Well done Benjamin!

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Dateline: SPRINGFIELD, MI—Speaking jointly at a press conference after coming to a unanimous decision at this year’s Skepticon, held at Missouri State University, representatives of the New Atheist movement condemned sleep and sex for being irrational.

“Religious faith is clearly unreasonable,” said author Sam Harris, “but so are your unconscious dreams and so is your sex life. If we’re going to survive the coming technological advances, we’ve got to smarten up and cut all ties to our primitive ancestry. We’ve got to become posthuman.” Read the full story

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