Posted on 10 March 2015.
Previous version published on thespoof.co.uk, entitled: “KKK: Underground Rap A-OK, but ONLY Underground Rap.”
Well hey, some classics just bear repeating. You can’t seriously tell me my remixes are inferior to those of, say, Axwell and all those dudes.
The Ku Klux Klan has made a somewhat peculiar (and not necessarily entirely sincere?) attempt to find black supporters and allies. Read the full story
Posted in Music, Strange People, Top Stories
Posted on 29 July 2014.
While cutting out individual letters from various newspapers and magazines, local serial killer Simon Thompson told Iron E-News that although he used the N-word while strangling an African American, the killing was not racially motivated.
“I don’t know what came over me,” said the delusional man who has claimed nearly two dozen victims over the past three months. “I swear that my murder spree isn’t racially motivated in any way. The slur simply came out in the heat of the moment. I know that’s no excuse, but I don’t know what else to say. Read the full story
Posted in Crime, Society
Posted on 28 April 2014.
At a press conference in Los Angeles this morning, Donald Sterling’s wife Roachelle claimed the NBA team would be sold in a matter of days.
Sterling, 67, who changed his name from Tokowitz so his unique brand of bigotry and racism would seem more ethnically ambiguous, has been embroiled in an intense controversy over apparent recorded racist comments he made to his 24 year old paid escort, arm candy and wannabee model, V. Stiviano. Sterling didn’t approve of her posting pictures on the internet of herself with black men or bringing Magic Johnson to Clippers games.
According to the recording, Sterling had no problem with V associating with black men or even sleeping with them, but the posting of pics and being seen publicly within 100 yards of Sterling made him the butt of jokes among others of Sterling’s “culture”.
At the press conference Roachelle Sterling said “It’s apparent the NBA, fans, people of certain mixed mud colors, anti-semites and jew haters do not want Donald in basketball, so we will be going somewhere where we’ll be appreciated.”
In other sports news Redskins owner Dan Snyder issued a press release midday indicating he was selling his team to an unnamed Los Angeles buyer in a IRS approved, 1031 exchange.
Both sales were approved by NBA and NFL owners along strictly religious and ethnic lines.
In related notes the Israeli parliament has approved designating Ethiopian immigrants of dubious hebrew heritage as 3/5ths real Jew.
photo credit: Tim Noakes via photopin cc
Posted in Sports, Sports Scandals, Top Stories
Posted on 22 June 2013.
Sometimes, as a white person, you just want to speak your peace. You don’t feel your being racist, and maybe you’re right, though it’s statistically unlikely.
Just open your mind and speak your peace and let the cards fall where they may… yep, you’re a racist.
I don’t know how the dark guy got his head distorted, but nobody jumped up to stop me. Calling me a racist for having accidentally crafted him in such a way is de-facto reverse racism… How dare you! Read the full story
Posted in Comics, Society
Posted on 15 May 2013.
Landover, Maryland: In a decision reached last week by franchise owner Dan Snyder, The Washington Redskins will kick off the 2013-2014 season with a new name and mascot.
The official date for the name change is July 25, the same day Redskin’s summer training camp begins. Players reporting to camp will be issued jerseys displaying the new mascot, the Predator Drone.
The decision to abandon the Redskin, an image that has been a part of D.C. history since the team was founded in 1937, came after team owner Dan Snyder finally caved to pressure from Native American and left-wing activists. Read the full story
Posted in Sports, Sports Scandals
Posted on 04 May 2013.
We’ve all heard that phrase a good few dozen times. Some of us have even said it a time or two. But what does it mean? How do those potentially demeaned in our subsequent statements feel?
America is far from post-racial. The election of Obama has only polarized racial tensions even further. Our president receives far more death threats than any president before him… but why? His policies aren’t radical, or even that much different than his predecessor… so what could it possibly be about? Read the full story
Posted in Comics, Society
Posted on 25 April 2013.
BAGGS, WYOMING- Notable domestic terror organizations are taking offence to the recent terror activities perpetrated by immigrants. These domestic terror organizations are characterized by their preference of white superiority and characterization of Jesus as a blue eyed, blond haired savior.
Their concerns have risen over the intolerable acts committed by Dzokhar and Tamerlan Tsarnaev, the brothers whose family emigrated from Kyrgyzstan when they were young. Read the full story
Posted in Society
Posted on 04 March 2013.
Posted in Making Headlines
Posted on 06 November 2012.
GlossyNews.com – Illinois one term congressman Joe Walsh created a spectacle outside a rural voting precinct this morning when he lashed out at several voters who snickered at him after voting for his opponent.
The congressman, never known for being balanced in policy or mentally, finally tired of the constant ridicule from his constituents and started taunting them for not voting for him. Several people were extremely offended by his off-color language and impressively racist statements. Read the full story
Posted in Politics
Posted on 02 May 2011.
Donald Trump decided to pull out all the stops to put to rest once and for all the ridiculous notion that he is a racist. Scheduled to speak before a group of business leaders at his alma mater, Wharton School of Business in Philadelphia, Trump stepped onto the stage donning traditional blackface. Read the full story
Posted in Celebrity Gossip
Posted on 09 January 2011.
Washington D.C. – Continuing a perfect record of being a doormat for the Neo-Fascists, President Obama signed a reverse civil rights bill into law today. Specifically, the bill addresses the ire of restaurant owners who are tired of serving pesky colored people, and gives a shot in the arm to drinking fountain and tacky sign manufacturers. Read the full story
Posted in Politics
Posted on 20 August 2010.
NOGALES, Arizona (GlossyNews) — The Tea Party, which claims it is less racist than a blind beggar, held a rally on the Mexico-Arizona border today to demand the US Government, which they claim spends too much money, spend millions more dollars to patrol the border and keep out illegal immigrants.
The rally was held at a private ranch near a gigantic wall the US Government already built to keep out Mexicans. Apparently the wall is not enough, because the Tea Partiers taped American flags all over it to really scare the bejesus out of anybody with brown skin getting near it. In another flourish of non-racism, the Tea Partiers taped hand-written messages to the TWENTY FOOT TALL WALL ALREADY BUILT TO KEEP OUT MEXICANS with ideas on how to stop immigration. Some of the messages were poignant, such as “the mesicns r returded” while others were to the point, such as “nuke Mexico.“ Read the full story
Posted in Politics, Society
Posted on 12 July 2010.
RACINE, Wisconsin (GlossyNews) — On the way into the city of Racine, Wisconsin from the Milwaukee airport, President Obama was googling around on his Blackberry and he found a local pastry shop. From there, everything started to go wrong. Read the full story
Posted in Politics, Strange People
Posted on 26 May 2010.
Anytown, USA (GlossyNews) — Kirk Hassenbaum was always a shining example of bleeding heart liberalism. He went to a Liberal Arts college, traveled Europe with the backpack and Birkenstocks crowd, read poetry in coffee houses in San Francisco, rode a Greenpeace boat to a whale slaughter and even had a gay best friend for a while. But after he got a job working for a major corporation and invested in a sweet house in the trendiest part of the city, his bleeding heart started to heal, Read the full story
Posted in Serious Commentary
Posted on 10 May 2010.
Washington DC (GlossyNews) — President Obama, refusing to yield to the demands of Tea Party agitators, has once again failed to appoint a Deist to the Supreme Court.
Obama has announced that he will nominate Elena Kagan to the court, choosing a Jewish woman to preside over the legacy of the white, Deist, Founding Fathers. Read the full story
Posted in Politics
Posted on 20 January 2010.
Sometimes a story comes along that contains such overtly racist remarks that are so darned over the top that to try and rewrite it to fit within a satirical framework would do a great injustice to the story itself. This is such a story. Every name, every quote is real, and I repeat, this is not satire. However, I also want to point out that as racist as this story comes across, it appears to be a sad attempt by a sad boxing promoter to grab some attention for his flagging basketball franchise business at the expense of black basketball players everywhere. Read the full story
Posted in Serious Commentary