Donald Trump decided to pull out all the stops to put to rest once and for all the ridiculous notion that he is a racist. Scheduled to speak before a group of business leaders at his alma mater, Wharton School of Business in Philadelphia, Trump stepped onto the stage donning traditional blackface. Read the full story

Washington D.C. – Continuing a perfect record of being a doormat for the Neo-Fascists, President Obama signed a reverse civil rights bill into law today. Specifically, the bill addresses the ire of restaurant owners who are tired of serving pesky colored people, and gives a shot in the arm to drinking fountain and tacky sign manufacturers. Read the full story

NOGALES, Arizona (GlossyNews) — The Tea Party, which claims it is less racist than a blind beggar, held a rally on the Mexico-Arizona border today to demand the US Government, which they claim spends too much money, spend millions more dollars to patrol the border and keep out illegal immigrants.

The rally was held at a private ranch near a gigantic wall the US Government already built to keep out Mexicans. Apparently the wall is not enough, because the Tea Partiers taped American flags all over it to really scare the bejesus out of anybody with brown skin getting near it. In another flourish of non-racism, the Tea Partiers taped hand-written messages to the TWENTY FOOT TALL WALL ALREADY BUILT TO KEEP OUT MEXICANS with ideas on how to stop immigration. Some of the messages were poignant, such as “the mesicns r returded” while others were to the point, such as “nuke Mexico.“ Read the full story

RACINE, Wisconsin (GlossyNews) — On the way into the city of Racine, Wisconsin from the Milwaukee airport, President Obama was googling around on his Blackberry and he found a local pastry shop. From there, everything started to go wrong. Read the full story

Anytown, USA (GlossyNews) — Kirk Hassenbaum was always a shining example of bleeding heart liberalism. He went to a Liberal Arts college, traveled Europe with the backpack and Birkenstocks crowd, read poetry in coffee houses in San Francisco, rode a Greenpeace boat to a whale slaughter and even had a gay best friend for a while. But after he got a job working for a major corporation and invested in a sweet house in the trendiest part of the city, his bleeding heart started to heal, Read the full story

Washington DC (GlossyNews) — President Obama, refusing to yield to the demands of Tea Party agitators, has once again failed to appoint a Deist to the Supreme Court.

Obama has announced that he will nominate Elena Kagan to the court, choosing a Jewish woman to preside over the legacy of the white, Deist, Founding Fathers. Read the full story

Sometimes a story comes along that contains such overtly racist remarks that are so darned over the top that to try and rewrite it to fit within a satirical framework would do a great injustice to the story itself. This is such a story. Every name, every quote is real, and I repeat, this is not satire. However, I also want to point out that as racist as this story comes across, it appears to be a sad attempt by a sad boxing promoter to grab some attention for his flagging basketball franchise business at the expense of black basketball players everywhere. Read the full story

Ozark, Alabama – Jeff Stills was a successful crop farmer from the lower state of Alabama that was raised on a farm he would soon call his own.  Unfortunately on the night of April 6th 1984 he flipped his General Lee replica(per his initial description). After further questioning he revealed it was in fact a ’78 Gremlin given to him by his aunt with a crudely painted “homage” to the General Lee at best.  He then entered a coma deeper than any Dukes of Hazard plot. Read the full story

Two Smegmadale Police Community Support Officers are under investigation after they allegedly stopped and searched a six-year-old Pakistani Muslim girl using their unconstitutional anti-terrorism powers as an excuse for harassing behaviour that stinks of racism. Read the full story

Shit-for-brains UK teachers with an NVQ1 diploma in Advanced Guesswork claim they can tell which pupils are likely to play up or be the local Anti-Christ incarnate simply by looking at their names – according to a recent government survey. Read the full story

Glenn Beck is seeing his conventional ad revenues dry up due to his escalation of hate rhetoric, but the redneck community is coming to his aid to help keep him on the air. Read the full story