Tag Archive | "pundits"

Santa Barbara Killer’s Motive Baffles Eggheads, Know-It-All Professors


Santa Barbara, CA – As the country tries to make sense of the recent tragedy in California, the nation’s elite are always quick to point out the answers to those of us who aren’t nearly as smart as they are.

Elliott Rodger killed six people last week in southern California before taking his own life. He left behind a book of a manifesto giving a glimpse inside his deranged mind. From this manifesto, many a pundit and professor has come forward with their typical knee-jerk reactions to what caused the crime in the first place. Read the full story

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Subspecies’ Ears Slowly Forming into Mouths


WASHINGTON—Scientists announced Monday that the subspecies rabia hospes interruptus is projected to undergo radical physical changes in response to their environment and need for survival.

“Basically, to continue their way of life, these creatures are forced to protect themselves from the dangers of listening to opposing opinions in favor of more effectively clobbering others with their own,” said scientist Colleen Saunders of the overbearing political commentator subgroup.

RIGHT: A depiction of what experts expect the completed transformation to look like. Images by World Affairs Council of Philadelphia, sebas and hectore via Flickr. (CLICK TO ENLARGE)

Saunders also pointed out that this subspecies previously relied on expressing their opinions with careful, measured screaming. Read the full story

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Election 2012 Over; Will Lessons Learned Fade as Quickly as the Scars?


The 2012 elections were stressful and trying for those on both sides of the political spectrum, but it’s easy to see why nobody had it worse than Brian K. White, the editor of Glossy News.

After all, I did have 62-articles to edit on election day alone, and I followed this thing so passionately I would have named my first born after it had the timing been different.

Think you know the Bible? Take the GlossyNews Unbeatable Bible Quiz!

So here’s what we actually learned from the 2012 election cycle: Read the full story

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