Last year’s Whitehouse state dinner crashers Tareq and Michaele Salahi were critically wounded last night while crashing rap-artist 50 Cent’s Christmas blow-out. Details remain sketchy, however, several witnesses reported an altercation erupted shortly after the couple entered 50 Cent’s residence.

“A couple of the guests, thinking Michaele was one of the hired skanks, tried to spray her boobs with champagne. When Tareq objected, he was promptly pistol whipped,” said one guest who declined to be identified. Read the full story

WASHINGTON – By now everyone has seen the news on the Virginia couple, Michaele and Tareq Salahi, who slipped into the White House state dinner on Tuesday night.

The Secret Service learned about the incident on Wednesday after media inquiries about the couple prompted an investigation. Upon investigating, government authorities learned that the couple was not on the guest list, but yet somehow made it pass the Secret Service checkpoints. To add insult to injury, the couple had their photograph taken with President Obama. Read the full story

A junior reporter for the bi-monthly socialite newspaper, Washington Society News, while doing research on the backgrounds of Michaele and Tareq Salahi, has uncovered a most interesting fact, which will run tomorrow on TMZ. Michaele Salahi and syndicated columnist and all-around bad ass, Ann Coulter, may be sisters. Born Michelle Ann Holt, it is believed that Michaele and Ann may share the same mother. Read the full story

US Secret Service agents today refused to be interviewed by Jacko McScrunt, – the Scallies and Yobs page columnist for the International Daily Shitraker – who was investigating reports that a couple of scumbag social climbers trespassed last night’s state dinner at the White House – with the SS office simply issuing the singular dismissive statement that the matter was ‘secret’. Read the full story