Tag Archive | "obstructionism"

Bi-Partisan Summit Ends Aprubtly After Attendees Unable to Agree Who Gets to be the Car in Monopoly


Monopoly strikes again. No, not the kind that FDR broke-up in the 1930s. This is the kind that tears families apart and tests the boundaries of the relationships of the participants involved.

This is a game that often ends in name-calling and ridiculing Uncle Herman for his obviously fake toupée. This is the board game Monopoly, and it is some serious s*it.

RIGHT: Senator Rand Paul (R-KY) seen here camping out in the Monopoly race car, just to make sure no one else gets it. (CLICK IMAGE TO ENLARGE)

With Washington constantly facing polarizing issues such as health care, the budget, and immigration, it is important for members of Congress to occasionally arrange meetings or socialize to some degree across the aisle with members of the opposing party. Read the full story

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GOP Agrees to Raise Debt Ceiling (if 19th Amendment Repealed)


House Majority leader Eric Cantor and Republican House Speaker John Boehner agreed to a short-term budget and debt ceiling increase of 7-9 days, so long as women’s right to vote is repealed. Democrats considering the measure.

The government shutdown is in its third week, and with the debt ceiling crisis only hours away, House republicans lead by serial killer sympathist Dave Reichert (R-WA) have come up with the first compromise that doesn’t involve de-funding the Affordable Care Act.

“It’s simple,” said Reichert, from his still-fully-staffed Washington office, “If the Democrats agree to repeal the 19th amendment, we’ll allow this rampant, destructive spending practice to continue another week or so.”

Dave Reichert is famous as the man who let convicted murderer Gary Ridgeway roam the streets for decades while pursuing dead leads against a cab driver, who ultimately was destroyed by the scandal.

“We’ll cave to pretty much anything at this point,” said Democratic Senate Majority Leader and wet towel Harry Reid. “They’re [the GOP] ready to drive the entire world economy off a cliff to placate the fringe of their party, and we [Democrats] just want stability in the world.”

When asked if Democrats were once more being spineless in the face of Republican obstinance, Reid answered, “Next question.”

President Obama indicated he would sign the bill, but indicated he may use the line-item veto to take out the part about restricting the right of women to vote.

House Republicans, eager to balance the budget, have repeatedly proposed stripping out the Medical Device Tax, which would add roughly $40 billion to the deficit in the next ten years. It makes no sense, but you have to look at it from their perspective, which is that Obama is a Kenyan Muslim Socialist, and in that light, while it still makes no sense, at least makes you feel something inside.

Senator Ted Cruz of Texas went on air late last night saying, “The bill doesn’t go far enough. Women shouldn’t vote, we have enough votes in both houses to prove it. But women also shouldn’t be driving. What is this, Saudi Arabia where a small handful drive sometimes with impunity?”

Imams from Bob Jones University and Focus on the Family agreed that this is only a small step toward resolution, and that when the issue comes up again in about a week, further deep concessions will be required from the Democrats to keep the government from destroying the world economy and throwing a hundred nations into economic turmoil.

Former Speaker, House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi said, “We are open to discussions.”

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Overpass for Impeachment Collapses


Karma struck on the I-5 Interstate in Carlsbad, California yesterday when one of the “Overpasses for Impeachment” collapsed, sending 12 people to the hospital.

According to federal databases, the freeway overpass had recently been graded “functionally obsolete” but still legally safe to drive on from the National Transportation Safety Board (NTSB) as recently as September 2009. Read the full story

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