TRUMP NEWS CONFERENCE IN THE NEAR FUTURE

Good afternoon, vile, evil, smelly, ugly, evil, evil members of the third-rate reporters who should kill themselves in a disgusting horrible – the pussies should throw acid in their faces.

Let’s forget the virus for now. So, so depressing although we did reach our goal. We now total 100, 002 deaths nationally. Remember when I predicted 100,000 deaths? People tell me all the time I would have made a great scientist… maybe a Nobel prize. Maybe two… Who knows?

So… 100,000, no, 100,002, right, Mike? Oh, 100, 013. Another 15 deaths as we speak. I don’t get enough credit. Aren’t you sick of all those nurses, respiration therapists? You notice a lot of those nurses are men. Men. You believe that? Didn’t use to be.

Anyway, a doctor or two. The New York ones. Jews. Many, many Jews. Great Americans. I’d have them over to my home. Not on Christmas. Ha, ha!  Happy Holidays. What a disgrace. What happened to Christ?

So, I was watching my programs last night… I got a genius idea… a cure for the virus… I haven’t run this by Debbie and Dr. Faucsi. We need to get him a couple phone books to stand on… Mike will you get on that?

What they ought to do is cut open the patient’s chests… ventilators, ventilators, who needs them? Cut them open till you see their lungs, you see. Then you get a blow torch and careful, got to be careful, turn on the blow torch with the flame, you see, and wave it back and forth over their lungs and the heat kills the viruses. Burns them right up. Let’s try it. Okay? What do we got to lose?

Debbie’s gonna talk now. She’s not bad looking for an old broad. Okay, Debbie thinks my idea is great. I see it on her face.

I’m leaving now. I won’t be back. The lame stream media really stinks this afternoon. I wish you would all kill themselves like they do in Russia.

Oh, yeah. Sew the guy up. Don’t forget. Sew… He’s okay. Gotta go.

(Cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough. He leaves coughing)

Author: Mark Wilt

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