Tag Archive | "Mobsters"

Feds to Renew Hunt For Jimmy Hoffa


After failing to find his body in a field in Oakland Township, MI, federal authorities announced today that they have found several other locations throughout the United States that may be hiding the body of former Teamsters Boss Jimmy Hoffa.

“We have had leads from a number of psychics, mob leaders and average citizens”, said former FBI agent John Anthony. “And we will leave no stone unturned until we find him!”

Anthony says he and his team will be searching a vacant lot in Ojai, CA, a cornfield in Iowa, a series of caves in New Brunswick and an apple orchard in New Hampshire.

“He’s probably not in the orchard but we’re going to check it anyway”, Anthony stated. “And if none of these places check out we do have a few more”.

Federal authorities and private citizens have spent $132 million looking for Hoffa’s body since 1975 to no avail. Much of the money has been spent on bribing mobsters, digging up fields and lawns, tearing down homes and interviewing possible witnesses. The remainder of the money is being used to keep FBI agents employed.

“We won’t stop until we’ve torn apart this entire country!” Anthony declared.

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Whacking Your Whites White


A washing powder advertisement has been pulled from television after the FCC (Federal Communications Commission) received thousands of complaints from viewers complaining of its ‘violent’ nature.

Godfather Powder, ostensibly aimed at mob wives, claims to ‘whack your whites, white’ and will ‘enforce’ the stubborn stains into submission.

The television advertisement shows scenes of violent beatings and blood being sprayed over the camera lens. Read the full story

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Mob Bosses Fear Liam Neeson-Style Dad


With the second ‘Taken’ documentary set to hit cinemas worldwide this autumn it has emerged that mob bosses and various crime syndicates, especially those within the human trafficking trade, are fearing Liam Neeson-style dad attacks.

The documentary, which follows Mr Neeson as he tries to get his daughter back after she is taken in Paris, shows Albanian bad-guys getting their asses kicked left, right and centre. Read the full story

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