Tag Archive | "libertarians"

Are Secular ‘Islamophobes’ the Only True Friends Muslims Have?


Suppose I told you this was the result of a conversation I had with a dear friend?
Let’s call her Fatima.
Suppose that, however, were only a pretext for a dialogue I imagined myself?
Never mind.
One way or another, we are here…
And we are here now.

***

ONE TONGUE JOHNNY:
It’s interesting that the people who are often most capable of taking a dispassionate and objective view of Islam, recognizing its merits and demerits in context, with rigor and nuance…
FATIMA:
Oh, here we go!
ONE TONGUE JOHNNY:
Are secular liberals and libertarians (either atheists, agnostics, or people with a loose and critical attachment to religion)….
FATIMA:
What? Are you serious?!
ONE TONGUE JOHNNY:
Who refuse to judge Islam either by a higher standard or a lower standard than any other human-invented ideology.
FATIMA:
What does that actually mean, though?
ONE TONGUE JOHNNY:
I.e. we who say that the Quran is the invention of human beings, and that Muhammad was a man, just like any other.
Or in a word: ‘Islamophobes!’
FATIMA:
That’s not what I mean when I say it, though.
ONE TONGUE JOHNNY:
Interesting irony.
If anything ever happened to Muslims in the USA or UK, God forbid, then it is the secular liberals and libertarians, the sogenannte ‘Islamophobes’ who would be standing up for Muslims.
FATIMA:
Are you sure about that?
ONE TONGUE JOHNNY:
Because we are the individualists.
And individualism means consistency.
FATIMA:
Are you quite sure about that though? You aren’t always consistent though, are you?
ONE TONGUE JOHNNY:
I satirize and criticize everyone, Faz! You know me!
FATIMA:
Yeah, but we don’t agree about boundaries of humour. I love you Jonathan, you’re a funny guy, but I really, really wish you just wouldn’t go so far sometimes.
ONE TONGUE JOHNNY:
Freedom of speech is not up for debate!
FATIMA:
I never said it was up for debate. But there’s a difference between doing stand-up, or writing for a blog or satire outlet, and posting stuff on your wall for everyone to see.
ONE TONGUE JOHNNY:
It’s my Facebook wall; why does it bother you that much?
FATIMA:
I can’t not see it, though. I’m not asking you to self-censor; I just want you to think a bit more.
ONE TONGUE JOHNNY:
So what about Charlie Hebdo?
FATIMA:
Oh for God’s sake! Why do you always bring that up?
ONE TONGUE JOHNNY: W
Why do you always bring ‘blasphemy’ up?
FATIMA:
Oh fuck off! You’re really taking the piss, Jonathan. I never even mentioned the word!!!
ONE TONGUE JOHNNY:
Sorry. I guess I’m being a bit over-sensitive today.
FATIMA:
You see… You can get away with that. Do you see?
ONE TONGUE JOHNNY:
I have under-privileged identity attributes, too though.
FATIMA:
Uh… what?
ONE TONGUE JOHNNY:
I said, I have under-privileged iden…
FATIMA:
Why do you always talk like that?
ONE TONGUE JOHNNY:
… There’s no way to express this in common sense every day language.
FATIMA:
Hm… Interesting.
ONE TONGUE JOHNNY:
What?
FATIMA:
Nothing.
ONE TONGUE JOHNNY:
Huh? What do you, you, you-you-you…
FATIMA:
Drop it! It doesn’t matter!
ONE TONGUE JOHNNY:
Oh, but, but, but, c’mon… When the shit hits the fan, do you seriously think trigger-happy SJWs will be doing anything to stand up for Muslims?!
They will just be quivering and pissing salt in their safe space, offering up tearful prayers to Derrida and Jacques Baudrillard, wondering how long before they’re next.
FATIMA:
Don’t forget these words. You’ve said it now and there’s no going back. You will be held accountable, Jonathan. If you go back on this, I will never forgive you! Don’t forget!
ONE TONGUE JOHNNY
… … …

Serious shit.

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Is a Libertarian Vote for Trump Unconscionable?


The US Presidential Election is upon us.

Faced with a binary choice, a Libertarian would rightly consider voting for Mr Trump over Secretary Clinton. Ask yourself which of the two “candidates” has a proven track record of choosing war? Was the Libyan intervention in 2011 a war of choice? As President Obama stated at the Democrat Convention this past summer, no one ever running has been more qualified. That was a subtle statement that after the years of war, drones and regime change, Hillary Clinton is highly aware and capable of expanding the American military presence globally. She deserves no consideration from a Libertarian.

And what of Mr Trump? Read the full story

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Posted in Serious Commentary, War ZoneComments (1)

Weeks after Toddler Exile Fiasco, John Lewis Internal Dissident Mysteriously Disappeared… Um, ‘Disappears!’


Notable socialite-apologist silk-peddler syndicate John Lewis has recently got into trouble for its new policy of systematically exiling toddlers and other vicious and unpredictable terrorists and master criminals:

But since this recent dastardly scheme started to unfold a few weeks back, some few brave internal dissidents have dared to play the aching predictable and mundanely tedious role of a tinpot Nicky Bukharin.

One irritatingly vainglorious John Lewis libertarian traitor rants:

Look, I know where the Supreme Leader is coming from on this one, and I’m not gonna be the one to challenge his unimpeachable wisdom. But, just think about it!

I mean, I know these evil toddlers are unscrupulous and evil and wicked and just plain barbaric, but don’t you understand that viciously hammering down on these vile people is precisely what they want? We’re just playing into their hands by disrupting our customary cozy, complacent, petit-bourgeois Surrey UKIP retiree way of life! But isn’t that precisely what these wicked bastards WANT us to do?! Read the full story

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Newly elected Libertarian still hasn’t made friends


WASHINGTON— Ready to make America free as possible, New Hampshire’s newly elected Representative of the House, Andrew Oak, walked into Chamber and realized he has not a single friend among the 434 individuals clustered into what was essentially 2 cliques. “All of these faces and not a single one looked welcoming.”

Often lauded for his charisma and charm, Oak attempted to befriend his fellow politicians. He hoped their differing partisan views could be set-aside during the long breaks loaded with cordial conversation and gossip that took place between actual law-making. This was not the case. Read the full story

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Ron Paul ‘Will Fight Presidential Campaign Into 2013’ Just to See What Happens


WASHINGTON D.C. – Even though rival Republican presidential campaigner Mitt Romney has already attained the 1,144 delegates needed to seal the party’s nomination, Ron Paul says he will continue campaigning, vowing to fight on into 2013, just to see what happens.

Unwilling to concede defeat in the face of mathematically impossible odds, Congressman Paul told potential delegates that he is still counting on their support “just in case something transpires.” Read the full story

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Poli-Soup; The Cure For “All” Your “Ills”


The miracles of our modern world never cease! Claims are now being made by many pundits that their particular variety of political soup recipe is sure to find a cure for whatever ails you. To concoct your own cure, first assemble the following ingredients you will need should you not have them already in your kitchen: Read the full story

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Paliens Infiltrate Sarah Palin Events to Undermine Conservatives


Little is known about the group calling itself “Paliens” but sources have indicated that they are a group of clairvoyants who are secretly infiltrating Sarah Palin events and using their supernatural powers to alter the intelligence of Palin herself to undermine the chances of the conservative party picking up any further senate seats in 2010. It is believed that the Paliens are part of a larger, more universal group that goes by the name “Libertaliens.” Read the full story

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Nevada’s Chicken Ranch Putting Roosters in the Hen House


Due to new testing methods recently developed to test men’s peckers for STD’s, male prostitutes are slated to join in the chicken dance at brothels across rural Nevada.

The owner of the first ranch to offer men up to clients said he “feared the idea of male prostitutes serving male clients could spur a legislative backlash” but he is working hard (no pun intended) “to make the brothel industry socially acceptable to both libertarians and conservatives.” (Yes, he really said that).

Did he just diss the progressives or is it just a case of being a good citizen and allowing the conservatives and libertarians to come out of the bathrooms and into socially-acceptable brothels?

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