Historians have discovered that Brigham Young, the second Prophet and President of the LDS (Mormon) Church was actually black. Dr. Hyrum Kimball at Northern Utah State University revealed his controversial findings at a symposium of Mormon History marking the 180th anniversary of the founding of the LDS Church.

“These findings have been verified through DNA checking of samples of blood and hair that were within the Mormon archives. We also exhumed the body when the results were known to make sure that samples had not been switched or contaminated in any way. The testing was confirmed by three separate labs.” Read the full story

Hog Jaw, Arkansas has just been named the Kissin’ Cousin Capital of America by Tammy Fay Cosmetics, beating out the other Hog Jaw, Alabama by a mile. The mayor of Hog Jaw, Humphrey Dumpty, in announcing this most dubious honor claimed “if it twern’t fer the Buckner Triplets and their love of Tammy Fay’s strawberry smack lip balm coupled with their love for their cousins Jethro, Jeb and Jubilee, we’d a been singing a sadder song.” Read the full story

Salt Lake City, UT – Thurl Bailey step aside, the LDS Church will soon have a new spokesmodel. In a bizarre turn of events yesterday morning, LDS Church elders in Salt Lake City announced that Tiger Woods has decided to join the Mormon Church. Woods, who has been searching for meaning to his life like a bum searching for change, stumbled upon two Mormon missionaries over the Christmas holidays and has embraced the faith. Read the full story