Tag Archive | "Italy"

France Finds Missing Flight 370


After waiting more than ten days to jump into the search for Flight 370, France declared it has found the ill fated airliner off the coast of Italy.

“We were delayed due to union repairs on our sole high imaging satellite which experienced a malfunction several years ago.

“Luckily, when it became operational, it was positioned directly over the spot where the plane went down and we found it within minutes,” said French Foreign Minister Pepe Lepew.

The lone satellite image released by France shows MH370 lying on its side in shallow water just yards off the west coast of Italy near Isola del Giglio.

“We were surprised, it was larger than expected.” added Lepew.

Breadstix.

photo credit: StefoF via photopin cc

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Posted in Travel, World NewsComments (4)

Report: Biden to Become Prime Minister of Italy


After weeks of crisis and gridlock, Italians have a new prime minister, and his name is Biden. That is, Joseph Robinette Biden.

America’s vice president was selected for the position after consensus picks such as Oliver Stone and Roman Polanski lost out due to a last minute revolt by Silvio Berlusconi’s People of Freedom Party, which desired to put Monica Bellucci in the position. Read the full story

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Catholic Priests Terrorize Italy’s Youth


Terror in Italy this morning as hundreds of Catholic priests descend upon the Vatican. Italian Mister of Defense Giampaolo di Paola has imposed a strict curfew and parents are being encouraged to keep their children indoors until the threat has passed.

Authorities are uncertain of the cause of the sudden swarm of holy men but it appears to have something to do with replacing their recently deposed leader. Read the full story

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Posted in Human Interest, ReligionismComments (1)

NEWS FLASH: Berlusconi Does Not Get the Girl


In a stunning turn of events, former Prime Minister of Italy Silvio Berlusconi has failed to pick up the hottest girl in Rome.

News sources reported late Monday that glitzy fashion star Martina Martinelli blew off the antsy Italian Stallion in favor one of his predecessors as premier, the 94-year old Giulio Andreotti.

According to Martinelli, her new flame is “So efficient and fast—he goes straight for the finish line. That proves he truly and deeply loves me. I never want to leave his arms, even though he falls asleep very quickly and sometimes requires an oxygen mask.” Read the full story

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip, PoliticsComments (0)

Tower of Pisa Collapses, Russian Tourists Smooshed


Tuscany, Italy – (SatireWorld.com) – The Italian government was dumbfounded after hearing reports that the famous Tower of Pisa fell. Long touted as an impossible building that had an accurate description attached to its name, the 183 foot tower fell with a loud crack and thud as crowds of sweaty tourists from Russia swelled around its base. Read the full story

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Posted in Human Interest, SocietyComments (0)

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