Rochester, NY – Hugh Buttnum, an inmate at the Monroe County jail in Rochester, NY, is in critical condition after a fellow inmate ripped off Buttnum’s prosthetic arm and beat him with it. Evidently, inmate J. “Johnny” Johnson was not aware that his new cell mate, Buttnum, had been fitted with a prosthetic arm when he (Johnson) threatened to “tear off Buttnum’s arm and beat him with the bloody stump.” Read the full story

Dear Hank,

I’m a regular guy, I keep to my business and do work when I can. How come I keep getting arrested?

-Frisked in Fresno

Dear Frisked,

Since you don’t really say what you are being arrested for, I can’t help you too much other than to assume that you are a “social moron.” Read the full story

The refusal to move a pre-operative transsexual prisoner from a men’s jail to a women’s prison is a violation of her human rights, according to a High Court judge. Deputy Judge Fellatia Faggorotti quashed Justice Secretary Jack Straw’s decision to keep the 27-year-old – who is now known as ‘Marion’ – in a male prison. Read the full story