Posted by your South America correspondents, Maria and Consuela Lopez.

RIO DE JANEIRO, Brasil (NovedadesGlossy) US opening weekend, the new Oliver Stone documentary grossed $21,545. Don’t let that low gross fool you; this film is highly gross. It’s grosser than naked pictures of Woody Allen.

The movie is Mr. Stone running around South America talking to politicians. Talk, talk, talk and it goes on for hours like that! Oh sure, there’s a little bit about some villages getting electricity, and that is a great thing. When I imagine those poor girls living in villages without blow driers, it about makes me cry. Don’t be thinking there’s much of that in ‘South of the Border’ though. It’s mostly ugly fat guys talking. Read the full story

Bogota North, Colombia (GlossyNews) — Posted from a secure, undisclosed location by Glossy News South American correspondent in hiding.

Sources close to Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez revealed a major diplomatic coup today; Fidel Castro has accepted Chavez’ friend request on Facebook. The ancient Cuban dictator, while not esteemed in the US, is widely respected throughout Latin America. The Castro seal of approval carries much weight among indigenous minorities who’ve long been oppressed by a succession of autocratic regimes. Read the full story

Wall Street, in a surprising move today, declared itself a separate governing republic and detached from the US. Always considered a bulwark of staunch capitalism, the recent bailout has changed the economic thinking of it’s leaders. Upon succession Wall Str. renamed itself “The Socialist Republic of Wall Str.”. Hugo Chavez sent them a telegram of congratulations.

Critics of this development suggest that having achieved independence Wall Str. would not have to return the $700 billion handout. Read the full story