Tag Archive | "House of Representatives"

Tea Party Representatives to Support Work and Education Centers for Poor


The debate over entitlement, drug testing of children who receive food stamps and student loans took surprising turn on the House floor.

Representative Ted Cruz (R-TX) said, “We were debating the issue of drug testing when somebody said, ‘What would it take to round them up and make them work?’ We had a good chuckle, but someone else said, “No really. Read the full story

Share

Posted in PoliticsComments (0)

Newly elected Libertarian still hasn’t made friends


WASHINGTON— Ready to make America free as possible, New Hampshire’s newly elected Representative of the House, Andrew Oak, walked into Chamber and realized he has not a single friend among the 434 individuals clustered into what was essentially 2 cliques. “All of these faces and not a single one looked welcoming.”

Often lauded for his charisma and charm, Oak attempted to befriend his fellow politicians. He hoped their differing partisan views could be set-aside during the long breaks loaded with cordial conversation and gossip that took place between actual law-making. This was not the case. Read the full story

Share

Posted in PoliticsComments (4)

Eleven Things Todd Akin (R)ape Actually Believes


With all the unfair and fairly crazy stuff Todd Akin (R-Missouri) has said lately, it may be hard to keep a fair track of him, and what he believes.

Here is a handy guide to what Todd Akin actually believes. You can use this as your handy guide to whether you should contribute to him financially, or if you’re instead a sane person.

RIGHT: Todd Akin standing in front of perhaps the most apropos sign to describe the race for the senate in Missouri. (CLICK PHOTO TO ENLARGE)

Here is what Todd Akin actually believes:

  1. Pregnancy is actually caused by rabid storks.
  2. Rape is a liberal media conspiracy.
  3. Christians can “pray the rape away” if they just truly believe.
  4. That the GOP establishment is actually going to swoop in and save him.
  5. Rapes don’t deserve to be the object of consumer boycotts.
  6. Rape only happens between people of the same sex (which is why it can’t cause pregnancy).
  7. Tiny nits from the netherworld cause sin… yes, he believes this.
  8. Ball punches are only painful if you believe in them.
  9. That Mitt Romney is considering him as second runner up for Vice President.
  10. That he’s too sexy for his shirt.
  11. Prostitutes can’t get pregnant so they are safe havens, but only on weekdays.

This article also had contribution from Barb Weir and P. Beckert.

Share

Posted in PoliticsComments (1)

U.S. Congressional Approval Falls Below 0%


The U.S. House of Representatives recently held a hearing concerning the revelation that Congress’ approval rating hit the unprecedented low of -0.4%. The following is a transcript of that hearing.

CONGRESSIONAL APPROVAL RATING FALLS BELOW 0%

2012

HEARING

BEFORE THE

SUBCOMMITTEE ON GOVERNMENT ORGANIZATION, EFFICIENCY AND FINANCIAL MANAGEMENT Read the full story

Share

Posted in PoliticsComments (2)

U.S. House of Representatives Votes to Abolish Satire


The United States House of Representatives has recently conducted a bipartisan vote to abolish all forms of satire within the country in a move clearly designed to belie the widely held notion that Congress is the place where good ideas go to die. The following are transcripts from the subcommittee hearing and floor debate that led to the aforementioned vote. Read the full story

Share

Posted in PoliticsComments (2)

House Really Falls On California Witch


SAN FRANCISCO, Calif. (Glossy News) — “Right out of a movie” would be the best way to describe the recent events that plagued former Speaker of the House and part-time witch, Nancy Pelosi. On Tuesday, the “House” hit her squarely on the head.

Found staggering and cross-eyed, the once-upon-a-time Congressional leader complained that her much beloved House had turned against her, bludgeoning her on the head as she was jogging along Fremont Street in San Francisco. According to eye witness accounts, the incident was observed by several androgynous midgets and a mysterious teenager from the Midwest, clutching a mangy puppy. Read the full story

Share

Posted in PoliticsComments (0)

Patrick Kennedy Retires to Spend More Time on Facebook


PROVIDENCE, R.I. – Patrick Joseph Kennedy II, who has represented Rhode Island’s 1st congressional district since 1995, has announced that he will not seek reelection. Mr. Kennedy, 42, has wrestled with alcoholism, bipolar disorder, and drug abuse, both recreational and prescription, since his student days at Rhode Island Community College. Read the full story

Share

Posted in PoliticsComments (1)

Glossy News Exclusive Exposés


-- (SEE ALL GlossyNews.com Videos) --



Glossy News Fake Commercials!





Glossy News Podcast


(Listen on iTunes or Libsyn)


More Great Satire:

Check out links to even more of our friends...
Want to see Your Link Here?



Check This Out!

ca-dress.com shop dresses online

Recommended Sportsbook MyBookie.ag

Our Top Authors (last 30-days)



All of Our Categories:

Top Stories - Top Stories; Politics - Top Stories; Serious Commentary - Top Stories; World News - Top Stories; Biz News - Top Stories; War Zone | Horoscopes
Entertainment - Entertainment; Celebrity Gossip - Entertainment; Television - Entertainment; Music - Entertainment; Internet Tubes - Entertainment; Books, Newspapers & Misc - Entertainment; Movies
Society - Society; Health - Society; Crime - Society; Travel - Society; Crooked Cops - Society; Education - Society; Strange People - Society; Religionism - Society; Human Interest - Society; Kidz Zone
Science and Technology - Science and Technology; Science - Science and Technology; Technology - Science and Technology; Gadgets & Gizmos - Science and Technology; Environment
Sports - Sports; Scandals - Sports; Athletes - Sports; Events | All the Rest - News in Your Briefs - Making Headlines - Opinion/Editorial