Tag Archive | "Honey Boo Boo"

Top Celebrities Pledge to Create Thousands of Entourage Jobs


Sid Weinstock, a savvy businessman from Los Angeles, has a list of some of the biggest names in the country who are each pledging to hire several new entourage members in an effort to create upwards of 100,000 new jobs in America in 2014. Justin Bieber has promised to add at least 20 new members to his entourage in the coming months. Auditions for the jobs will be taking place in Atlanta in January. Read the full story

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Honey Boo Boo Ups Salary Demand to Include Twinkies Bonus


Alana Thompson, the child star of the reality hit (by the lowest standards possible) series Here Comes Honey Boo Boo was told on Friday that her favorite snack food, Twinkies, were no longer going to be sold in stores and she was going to have to find another sweet treat to get her through the day.

“No mama no!” screamed the pint-sized puddin’ pop when told she could only have Little Debbie Cloud Cakes instead. Read the full story

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Reality TV Star Honey Boo Boo To Wed


Hog Jaw, GA – (SatireWorld.com) It looks like the sound of wedding bells are in the air as reality TV star Honey Boo Boo,(aka Allana Thompson) age 7 or so, will soon take a walk down the church aisle and marry her fourth cousin Cletus ‘Skeeter’ Johnson, age 27. Read the full story

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Honey Boo Boo Weeps on Live TV When Obama Loss Announced


GlossyNews.comHog Jaw, GA – Not since her child beauty pageant loss in Vicksburg to 6-year-old Playdo model Mae Belle Glutz has reality TV star Honey Boo Boo cried so hard as to drop her fried chicken drumstick.

So far, the Tots and Tiara Queenette has bawled non-stop, and refuses to eat, taking only an occasional sip of Red Bull or Mountain Dew. The cause of her emotional breakdown? The stunning re-election loss of Barack Obama prematurely reported by CNN. Read the full story

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GA Exit Polls Show Honey Boo Boo Leading Twinkies


GlossyNews.com – GEORGIA – Exit polls conducted throughout the state of Georgia are showing reality TV starlet and shaved Gremlin Honey Boo Boo holding a slight lead over the well known snack Twinkies in the race for the White House.

Asked how something like this could happen, state election officials said that Georgia voters simply ignored all of the options on the ballot and wrote in either Honey Boo Boo, Twinkies, or Gary Johnson. Read the full story

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Honey Boo Boo Plans Comeback For 2046


7-year-old Alana “Honey Boo Boo” Thompson says she plans to burn out soon as a child star but has already planned her ‘comeback’ for the year 2046 when she is 41 years old.

“Sure, I’m a fat child star now but my good fortune won’t hold out forever!” a very mature Boo Boo stated. “By the time I hit my teens I will be burnt out on drugs and sleeping with all kinds of losers”.

Boo Boo says she will probably lose all her money through unscrupulous managers, bad investments and a greedy mother. However, she claims the nostalgia craze will enable her to regain her fortune when she is older.

Her mother June Shannon supports her daughters future comeback. “I admit, I’m terrible at managing money”, Shannon stated. “I mean, I’m just a dumb southern housewife with this freaking talented kid and I don’t know what the hell I’m doing!”

“If I’m this obnoxious now can you imagine me in a few years?” Boo Boo asked. “I’m lucky I’m still gonna be working next year!” TLC network has renewed the show for another season.

Honey Boo Boo also pointed out that she’s not as dumb as the TLC network makes her out to be.

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