Senator Chris Coons’ office has sent out a short brief detailing how the Congressman has finally found God, and put an end to a millennia-long game of hide and seek.
Asked to comment about his Earth-shaking discovery, Senator Coons had this to say:
“He was in the living room. Jesus Christ! He was in the living room! How could I have missed Him for so long?”
The Senator’s revelation purportedly came after he logged onto Facebook and read a comment posted in response to an article he had written. It was titled “Finding God in the Party Platform.”
The comment was posted by one, Bobby D. Foster, and reads as follows:
Dear Senator Coons,
I’ve realized that, when I’m trying to find God, He’s usually under a big pile of pillows in the living room. Have a nice day.
-BDF
The actual comment can be found here on Facebook.
On a whim, the Senator then walked to his living room, lifted the pillows off his sofa, and found the Great Creator of the Universe.
In response to reporters’ questions concerning His discovery, the Alpha and Omega was quoted as saying:
“Come on! Seriously? How long have I been down there? And no one even thought to look under the pillows! It stopped being fun seven centuries ago. Now all I got out of it is the mother of all crimps in my neck.”
I really don’t think they’ve found him yet. They wear him like a badge so they have some claim to the authority to be able to tell you what to do, but they know nothing of his actual book. If they did, well, they’d either change their tune or stop believing all together.