Tag Archive | "heart transplant"

Just Whose Heart Beats in Dick Cheney’s Chest?


News information services have informed us that former President-Of-Vice Dick Cheney has had a heart transplant. The former Haliburton head man had to wait almost two years to get his new ticker because of the difficulty of finding a heart evil enough to even come close to replacing his original.

Doctors kept waiting for Lukashenko, the leader of Belarus, who some say is the last dictator in Europe, or Kony, the African military leader who uses child soldiers in his rebel army, to keel over, but their dark hearts seem to be running longer than the Energizer bunny’s. Read the full story

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New Donor Cards Provide Cheney Opt-out Option


Bending to demand from potential organ donors, the World Organ Donor Bank, which issues organ donor cards, has printed a box on their cards that allows donors to opt-out when it comes to donating a heart to Vice-President and war profiteer, Dick Cheney. It reads: Could you ever be dead enough to allow Dick Cheney to get your heart? Check YES or NO. Read the full story

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Dick Cheney’s Heart Transplant Not Going Exactly As Expected


Surgeons have had great difficulty with fitting former President of Vice Dick Cheney (aka- ‘Tricky Dicky the Second’) with a transplanted heart. Each attempt to put a foreign heart into the open breast of Mr. Cheney has resulted in rejection- not Mr. Cheney’s body rejecting the heart but rather in a show of patriotic, defiant, graft versus host disease sort of way, the heart is rejecting Mr. Cheney. Read the full story

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