The debate over whether advance care planning is actually another way to describe death panels is rearing its ugly head again since regulation started January 1st.

The few folks who are still fuzzy on exactly what the intent of the regulation is are claiming that it will cause some folks who are facing some tough decisions, such as whether or not to continue life-sustaining treatment, to just say the heck with it and have their caregivers pull the plug. Read the full story

LAS VEGAS, NV (GlossyNews)– Taking a sharp turn away from sports betting, Las Vegas odds makers are said to be taking silent bets from some of the top businessmen and politicians in the country on who will be the first high-profile personality to come right out and publicly call President Obama the “N” word. Read the full story

WASHINGTON, DC (GlossyNews) — In a surprise press conference this morning, Barack Obama announced to the American public that he has discovered the cure for cancer.

“Several well-known medical researchers and I have finally found a way to put an end to this menacing disease,” President Obama declared. “The short treatment is completely safe, 100-percent effective and carries no side effects whatsoever.” Read the full story

As recently seen on Austin Craigslist:

EXPERIENCED CATAPULT BUILDER (N. AUSTIN)

Date: 2010-03-26, 9:33PM CDT
Reply to: job-phthuttt-1639419@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

Group of Investors looking for experienced carpenter to build over-sized catapult sturdy enough to fling Rush Limbaugh all the way to Costa Rica and help him make good on his promise to leave the country if the health care reform bill became law. Read the full story

Taking a cue from the Red Shirt movement in Thailand where approximately 50,000 protesters siphoned their own blood to throw on members of Congress, Glenn Beck is considering asking his viewers to have their blood drawn and sent to his show in vials to be used in protest of the current administration.

Dubbed the “Red Sweater” movement, Beck believes that bloodletting is one of the most appropriate forms of protest especially in association with the debate on health care reform. “One of the oldest medical procedures known to man can now be a symbolic form of protest for those of us who believe that the current administration is ‘bleeding us dry’ with their socialist programs,” said Beck.

WASHINGTON, DC — The Race to #60 is as old as the Senate. Only one person can claim the title in this rare event, as the party in power tries to work it so the race doesn’t happen. It becomes a public race when the legislative issue is so overpoweringly dull and no Senator purports to understand its values, let alone what it actually says.

These two legislative “faults” are attached to the bill’s writers and they are excused by the body from writing any bills for the rest of the session, thus they can stay home and attend to their real jobs in their districts, making money. Read the full story

The good news is that no more 5% of earth’s citizens will have to suffer due to his petty, soulless, baby-killing, neo-partisan politicking.

Washington, DC: Congressional Representatives from both sides of the aisle celebrated today with the announcement of an offer to completely fund American health care reform via e-mail from a mysterious Nigerian prince.

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi told reporters at a Capitol Hill news conference, initial contact with Prince D’Uod Mababe was made by Pelosi herself. Read the full story