Tag Archive | "Hannah Montana"

Miley Cyrus Complains About Dwindling Number of Ways to Shock Audiences


San Francisco – At a recent concert stop at the “City by the Bay”, pop nuisance Miley Cyrus whined that it’s getting too hard to shock audiences at her shows these days and that Madonna and Lady Gaga have racked up most of the good shock value over the years. Miley feels cheated.

“It’s so hard y’all! I mean, yeah, I’m a freak and all, but I’m running out of ideas that will leave my fans shaking their heads in disgust when they leave my concerts!”

The former Disney airhead went on to say she couldn’t outdo Gaga on outfits so she’s headed the other direction, thinking the less she wears, the better. Read the full story

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Miley Cyrus Quotes ‘Then’ and ‘Now’


My, oh my, have times changed. Just a scant three years ago, Miley Cyrus quit the Disney Channel, and her role as Hannah Montana, to become America’s most-watched sex kitten. Talk about your quick-change artists.

We thought it would be fun to look back at some of Miley’s quotes, many made during her Hannah Montana years, and update them to give you a peep show of what the all-grown-up child star is up to these days.

MC Then: My mom is always telling me it takes a long time to get to the top, but a short time to get to the bottom. Read the full story

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31% Chance that Miley Cyrus Will Develop Frostbite During New Year’s Performance


New York, NY – Pop icon and cultural wrecking ball Miley Cyrus is scheduled to headline the festivities in Times Square, performing just before the ball drops to start the New Year. According to forecasters, the weather at midnight should be about 26 degrees Fahrenheit, with 12 mph winds, putting the wind chill in the low teens. While frostbite does not typically begin to set in until the wind chill has dropped down to -20, the charts were made by doctors who assumed that people would be wearing clothes. If the past year of Miley Cyrus’ life has suggested anything, it’s that this is a bold assumption.

In an official statement, ABC stated that “[p]aramedics will be standing by with buckets of warm water and new clothes for Ms. Cyrus” if frostbite should begin to set in during or after her set. The statement did not disclose where Ms. Cyrus’ old clothes will be at that time, hinting at the nature of her performance.

“As if it’s possible for her to do a show and not strip down,” 24-year-old single male and typical Miley fan Seth Hanes said, adding that, if she didn’t, he’d ask for his money back.

“I’d use her tits to hang up my coat,” another fan told us, with a wink and an “if you know what I mean.”

“Of course she’s going to have exposed skin,” Rolling Stone reporter Biz Jenkins scoffed, “Really, the only question is what part of her starts going blue.”

Reports of numerous betting pools on this exact topic have been confirmed, with wagers on which part of Miley’s skin would turn color the quickest. The current 3 to 1 favorite is her tongue.

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Nick Jonas Dubbed Tiger Woods of the Disney Tween Scene


What’s the difference between Tiger Woods and Nick Jonas? Tiger Woods was married when he “dated” all those other girls. Nick Jonas on the other hand, is quickly approaching Woods as one of the most prolific daters on the Hollywood scene and he seems to prefer Disney dolls to Nickelodeon hotties, although he hasn’t ruled the latter out.

Said Jonas’ manager, “he’s dated so many Disney stars that I just gave up trying to count them. The gossip-istas have him dating Miley Cyrus, Selena Gomez, Jordan Pruitt and a couple others, but those are the stars. Hell, it’s not uncommon to see Jonas making time with the girl that gets him coffee in the morning or any one of the producers’ teen daughters that accompany their parents onto the sets. He may look innocent enough, but man is he a horn dog.” Sources tell us that even a severe talking to by Billy Ray Cyrus last year wasn’t enough to keep Jonas from trying to “board the Bonetown Express” as he put it, on a daily basis.

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Miley Cyrus Racing to Ditch Hannah Montana Franchise Pre-Scandal


All over the world, teens and tweens alike are clutching their Hannah Montana throw pillows and sobbing uncontrollably that their favorite television personality, Hannah Montana, is gearing up to shoot the last season of the Hannah Montana show.

According to a spokesperson for Disney Channel Worldwide, “The last episode will be bittersweet as we say good-bye to our little Miss Montana.” Read the full story

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